As I am currently researching crowdfunding, the Worst Crowdfunder in the World is of intense interest to me. This guy could just stop getting tats and fund his own goddam love life. Or take that noxious quiff out and watch the ladies come running.
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raincoaster 
all he’s missing is the handle-bar moustache…
…and a jockstrap worn outside of his pants. An exposed girdle would be a plus.