from the Archive:
Friday, June 24, 2005
I mean, frankly, you have got to be fucking kidding me.
Okay, so I’m turning over all kinds of rocks looking for a job here. Going to interviews only to find out the company is hiring people to write high-school papers for foreign students. Scripting internet porn (who knew it was scripted????). Pyramid-scheming for the Russian mob. But this has to be the all-time worst writing job I’ve ever seen; the earnest, wholesome and chatty veneer is the blood-curdling icing on the – sorry – cake.
Seriously, a magazine about pubic hair care. Quotes:
We’re pleased you’re joining the growing number of women (and men) who realize that good grooming includes the previously ignored area “down there’s not just about hygiene either.
It’s about feeling good about ourselves and having fun in the process.
[one has to wonder about their idea of “fun,” really]
Where do you go when you have a question about shaving, or you want to share your own hysterical story? [totally; nothing goes together like pubes, razors and hysteria!] Right here! Our writers and editors are working around the clock to dig up any and every bit of information regarding – what else – Hair Care Down There.
[“Dig” winner, most unfortunate image deployment, 2005]
Why we do it. How to do it better. Who’s doing what. And more.
Articles, Q&A’s, tips and a place to swap ideas, all updated the minute we unearth something new. We value and welcome your suggestions and contributions and we invite you to visit often.
[if I unearth something new down there I go see a doctor!]
del.icio.us: worst resume-stuffer ever
blinklist: worst resume-stuffer ever
furl: worst resume-stuffer ever
Digg it: worst resume-stuffer ever
ma.gnolia: worst resume-stuffer ever
Stumble it: worst resume-stuffer ever
simpy: worst resume-stuffer ever
newsvine: worst resume-stuffer ever
reddit: worst resume-stuffer ever
fark: worst resume-stuffer ever
Technorati me!
raincoaster 
“A new way to shave”?
“Just stand right there, darling, so that you’re correctly positioned in the crotchhairs …”
“Well, propane, actually, but really–you’ll hardly even notice …”
“Well we use the laser for Brazillian work, but …”
“Oh come on you weenie–didn’t you get that Epilady I stuffed in your stocking–well this is twice as good!”
…
Forget it–ignore this comment or delete it or something. Apparently the Epilady is still alive and well and selling at Target.
Women are never gonna acheive equality while they’re still willing to purchase a device that pins your hair in a spring and tears it out by the roots. Wouldn’t they prefer to go back to corsets and having sex in the dark?
I have one of those things. There isn’t the tranquillizer in the world that can prevent Spanish Inquisition-like levels of pain with it; I think I only keep it around for torture purposes.
Did you see the Cheers where Rebecca bought The Lady Baldy? That was a good one.
But Metro, you need to check out Fortean Times: Phillipa’s got some stuff up about what men do as well which is gruesomer by far than this. And that’s not even mentioning hair plugs, etc etc. The baldness cures are lethally disgusting.
Y’know that sounds interesting. However, “You’ll never get anywhere if you go around paying attention to people is my motto, one of them anyway–that and “Never trust a dog with orange eyebrows”. So I think I’ll skip it.
Were you referring to the oil injections? Sad how desperate some people can be.
Well the zombie jailbird dick thing is also EW!
You know what’s the worst thing though: This stupid magazine never even replied to my application. God knows I’m not proud, but what’s the point of debasing yourself just for practice?