When Worlds Collide!!!

Emma Watson and Cameron Adams/Hermione Granger and Himmione Grainghim

Emma Watson and Cameron Adams/Hermione Granger and Himmione Grainghim

via Gawker

This right here? This is the streams crossing. This is the polarity reversing back on itself and swallowing its own tail. This, my friends and stalkers, is the moment for which the celebrity-internet culture was made. Even if it did mortify one of them into deleting his Twitter account (after tweeting a no-doubt-heartfelt “Awkward!“).

This is a picture of fresh-faced ingenue Emma Watson and her perky gay pornalike, Cameron Adams, who played Himmione Grainghim in the extremely NSFchirruns Whorry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Balls.

SFW no, but amusing, yes. Yes, yes, YES!

From commenter JamesFromCambridge comes this positively magical trailer.

And I’m spent! If you’re not, toddle over to that comments section on Gawker for the biggest damn roundup of filthy Potter puns this side of Repressed Housewife Fanficdom!

Or you could just click past the jump and read some more gossip, if you’ve got the endurance! Once more into the breeches!

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That’ll teach YOU not to tip!

Sadface! No Happy Endings?

Sadface! No Happy Endings?

via AndreaBusse

Seriously, you call THAT a spa? Actually, I’m intrigued by the concept of a day spa for “Lady Orchids” that offers massages, and can definitely see where the confusion arose.

Georgia O'Keeffe should get that inflamed ladyflower to the gynecologist STAT

Georgia O'Keeffe should get that inflamed ladyflower to the gynecologist STAT

Once again I am confronted with the certain realization that other people are watching a completely different kind of porn from me.

Bedbug sex, Isabella Rossellini, and why science students remain lifelong virgins

I mean, if you were an innocent schoolgirl and THIS was your first exposure to sex, wouldn’t you join a convent?

Bedbugs, sex, city apartments, and knife penises.

Cthulhu Sex Tape Shocker!!!

Cthulhu finds his dream job

Appalling, yet undeniable. Even Mighty Cthulhu, devourer of souls, ravenous feaster of darkness who thrives on terror and the shrieks of the innocent, has fallen this low. I mean, crabs had to come from somewhere, amirite?

First, Cthulhu goatse photos leaked to the internet. Now, a blurry, night-vision sex tape. I ask: Can a reality show be far behind?

These black dicks are outta control!

Those aren’t snakes, boyo.

You cannot resist CTHULHU

Yeah, honey, don’t even THINK about going to the Labour Board with this. IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY!!!

Bonus: here’s a cute little tune, Hey There Cthulhu, which is a handy-dandy pronunciation guide to all the Cthulhu Mythos’ most baffling terms, in an attractive, neo-folksy package.

HEY THERE CTHULHU
(Lyrics from the Evilbore forum, but [ahem] spelling corrected; what? are you afraid of summoning Him?)
lyrics copyright © 2008 by Eben Brooks and Allison Lonsdale

Hey there Cthulhu down there in your sunken city
You’re a billion light-years distant and the stars look very pretty
From R’lyeh
So close and yet so far away. Ia Iay.

Cthulhu fuh-TAH-gun, or is that Cthulhu fuh-TINE?
I can never quite remember ’cause I’m not in my right minds
Since I met you
No one corrupts the way you do. You know it’s true

(Chorus)
Oh, it’s what you’ll do to me
Oh, and all humanity
Oh, you’ll rise up from the sea
Oh, kill everyone slowly
Except the one’s like me

Hey there Cthulhu, I’ve been studying your gospel
The Necronomicon, it gives me nightmares something awful
Where I see
The death of all reality. It fills me with glee

So when the stars are right, you’ll come and do your worst
But that’s okay because I know you’ll eat the cultists like me first
When you get here
I know that day is drawing near. I have no fear

(Chorus)

A billion light-years seems so far
Below the sea, beyond the stars
Of these humans’ putrid souls you’ll drink your fill
The fools will all make fun of me
But I’ll just laugh maniacally
‘Cause no one’s ever suffered like they will
Chthulhu, I can promise you
That by the time this cult gets through
The world will never ever be the same!
Praise your dark name!

Phn’glui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wagn’nagl fhtagn
Boy, that’s really quite a mouthful, can’t quite cram it in my noggin
Not today
I try to say it anyway
I feel my soul being to fray
Still I await that frabjous day
Cthulhu calay!

(Chorus)
Oh, kill everyone but me
Everyone but me

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New Look for Northern Voice

Longtime Northern Voicer here (That’s the Northern Voice blogging conference, May 7-8 in Vancouver) ; I’ve attended the conference every year but one, and this year I’ve busted into the dizzy heights of the presenter’s list, which certainly puts me in the upper 50% of attendees. Yes, when it comes to Northern Voice, me luv it longtime.

But…

Is it just me, or does this thing:

Northern Voice Mascot, PedoBearMoose, yo!

The official Northern Voice mascot

Look like this thing:

Pedobear

Pedobear, the one and only!

Now, Kris said something about having some sexblogging workshops this year. I’m just not sure this is the very best way to draw an interested crowd.

Northern Voice Get Your Moose On

On WHERE, goddammit? And how do I get him off?
Oh wai- NEVER MIND!!! I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!!!!

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