Happy Easter, Kids! You will be eaten first. Should we start with the ears?
Did you ever wonder what motivates the great metaphysical characters of Western civilization? What drives the Tooth Fairy to make his/her nightly rounds, exchanging discarded pieces of human skulls for cold, hard cash? Is Santa a slave to the whims of children worldwide, or is he working some grand master plan? And what are we to make of a bunny who lays chocolate eggs? What kind of creepy Pon-Farr-ish motivation or downmarket chemical stimulus drives him to his zygote-scattering frenzy?
On the Interwebz, you’re nobody till somebody hates you, so OccupyVancouver shouldn’t take to heart the recent emergence of a parody twitter stream, 0ccupyvancouver (with a zero, and how! not an o; this humourless git probably never had an O in his life without his mother in the room).
To call it a humour-challenged account is to understate the case to a positively injunctable extent; it’s so bad that it had four followers when I saw it this afternoon, and about eight hours later it was down to three. That’s no doubt its mother, uncledaddy, and sisterwife.
Strangely, they have a platform that I think we can all support:
I understand Summer has come late to the Southlands, and that they are currently reveling in hour after hour of sunlight, near-perfect temperatures and cool, meadow-scented breezes. When this rare occurrence … um … occurs, there’s only one thing to do: ditch the vehicle and spend as much time as possible en plein air, as enthusiastically demonstrated by the hero of our little video here:
Tragically, he is stopped in his tracks by an architectural befuddlement so befuddling it has foiled such capable combatants as the Police and the Daleks! That’ll teach him to play in the shade when the sun is out!
Daleks rule the world but only on the ground level