Best. Facebook. Thread. Ever.

Best Facebook Thread Ever in history

Best Facebook Thread Ever in history

Thanks, Archie, for the image!

and for those of you who prefer text: (I have the feeling this will go around the internet a couple of times)

Lorraine Murphy

raincoaster Question: will the human body provide about 40 entree servings? No reason I ask.

    • PersonA Oh GROSS thought.

    • PersonB how large are the entrees? are you using the whole body, or just the muscle? I’d say no, unless they’re a bodybuilder

      about an hour ago
    • PersonC So if a plane crashes, I’m Tuesday’s Entree or Wednesday’s?

    • PersonD That is the best breakfast question. No bacon for me today.

    • PersonC And bodybuilders wouldn’t make good cuts…too tough. Best for stew.

    • PersonE When you’re raising human for consumption, how much exercise is too much exercise? You want good tone but you don’t want too much sinew. Farming is hard.

    • PersonC So what wine would you serve, Brad?

    • PersonE Something Rhonish. Grenache with the young ones, something more full bodied with the older ones. Maybe a Hermitage. And fava beans of course.

    • PersonC Grenache for the office worker types as they are similar to veal.

    • PersonF and won’t she be proud of that? Hmmm…bacon…. a bit of cured human? (we taste like pork, or so I’ve heard)

    • PersonE When shopping for human, always look for the “Cubicle Raised” sticker. Your assurance of quality!

    • raincoaster This is the best facebook thread EVAR

    • PersonC Engineers provide the best quality cut of “Cubicle Raised”. Vegan engineers are even better.

    • PersonG EAT ME

    • PersonH Does anyone have any objection to me posting this thread all over the internet with names blacked out?

    • PersonH ‎(Notated: “Comments On The Occasion Of Yom Kippur” of course.)

    • PersonI HEY Lorraine, you know wen a person comments on someones posting? is there anyway not to get messages when other people then make a comment?

    • PersonJ

      In Paddling the Happy Isles of Oceania, Paul Theroux observes how much the sometimes-cannibalistic societies of Polynesia, etc, to this day love SPAM — which he posits as being the closest throwback to the porky taste of humans.

      So, maybe y…ou could practice your culinary repertoire on SPAM first before, you know, offing some guy in the alley for freezer-fillin’.See more

    • me, duh None whatsoever as far as I’m concerned. Post away, but I’M GOING TO DO IT FIRST!

    • Me again Alan: You can delete any thread by hovering to the right-hand top corner and that brings up the Delete button. IT’ll hide all the replies to that thread.

      Steff, good idea. Spam can’t outrun me.

    • PersonC William, go for it. I’m gonna do the same. HAHAHAHA!

    • PersonK The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover will be arriving for dinner at 7:00.

    • me again, gotta get those comment counts up Of course, if you DO repost it, give me the linkie luv: not to facebook, to because Google hates me and is trying to kill me off lately. Need the Googlejuice!

    • PersonC Done –

      Linked to you at the bottom of the entry.

    • PersonK is it that we’re up to now? Damon Knight already wrote of the cook-book – – –

    • Me, again. I’ll throw a link to anyone who can make me a png of this thread. I only have Microsoft Paint on this computer, otherwise known as Microsoft Pain In The Ass.

Yes, this is unquestionably the best Facebook thread in the history of all time, ever. What’s also amusing, but you can’t see because you’re not on my Dashboard, writing this post, is that Zemanta is coming up with suggested images of the following: bacon, bodybuilders, Grenache grapes, fava beans, an F-16 ejection in progress demonstrating canopy blowout (I’m serious; surely he’d be pureed after that and thus no good for anything but burgers), a colonnade, and some dead Mittel-European singer’s house covered in flowers. Was she eaten? Oh, then it must be Belgium! Under Tags, we have: pork, veal, and “wine tasting descriptors.”

22 thoughts on “Best. Facebook. Thread. Ever.

  1. I always thought Jesus had regenerative powers like Wolverine, so the number of servings would automatically be infinite. Plus, with the claws, he could carve them out himself.

  2. The best ever? You’re delusional.

    Use this status: Describe your sex life with a movie title.



  3. Sure thing Rain man, I will take your response into careful consideration.
    Let’s begin, shall we?
    For starters, “what twitter did last year” does not require quotations, nor does it require upper and lower case letters. Now, on to more important things … I must redirect this conversation to the simple fact that your thread was indeed, doltish. The fact that you have concluded that your mundane thread was “the best ever” (proper use of quotations) baffles me. Just because a lot of your friends chose to entertain you by replying to such a boring status, does not make it the best thread ever, my overzealous friend. If anything you have the best FRIENDS ever. Further more, for the most part, everything we say on a daily basis is outdated. We use these words, phrases and jokes to communicate and entertain, to name a few. So to say my thread, (which got over 115 comments in two hours) is outdated, is completely dim-witted and forced.
    I know you are angry that I called you delusional, but please think before you speak. Now, as for the laughingstock comment … I respect your opinion, however if there was a competition for the best thread ever, and this thread is what you brought to the stage, I’m sure you would be red in the face with the reaction from the crowd. =)



  4. Aren’t you cute?

    Yes, your thread got a lot of comments; it’s obvious your friends are as behind the times as you are.

    Actually this thread WAS presented at a conference, and it was a big hit.

    Your sincerity is appreciated. It’s completely clear you do think you’re All That, and it’s equally clear you Ain’t.

  5. Dear Rain man,

    Your daft ability to comprehend the key points within my retort leads me to believe you have selective reading and or you know I have good points and wish not talk about them. See, like I have stated before, everything is outdated for the most part. If the topic, game or in this case, thread is fun, people will revisit the notion and enjoy it with open arms, kinda like Nintendo.
    I would like to bring to your attention (and read this carefully) that your home run point that my thread is outdated is not breaking news to me as I have known this thread existed long before I posted it. Suffice it to say, your insight regarding this conversation has completely failed to “burn” me.
    As for your “conference” … talking around the water cooler with your peers at your place of work about your recent thread does not count as a conference. However, I will not make the same dull mistakes you have so easily made and by this I am referring to your assumptive manner. Therefor I am offering you a chance to clarify the details of this conference you speak of.
    In closing, I am a little confused with the verbal stumble in your last sentence. I do not recall claiming to be “all that” as you stated, and again, assumed. However it is conclusively evident after this heart-to-heart we are having that you … are not.



  6. It looks like TheRubberChicken has some good points. I think you, (raincoaster), should rename this thread to “Slightly better than average Facebook thread” as this thread is just that, at best.

  7. My ability to comprehend your points obviously exceeds your own ability to write proper English without setting yourself up for a fall, as you did there.

    I appreciate your comments; they amuse me, and drive traffic to the site as people come to see what I’ve done with you and your sock puppet, who appears (by the way) to be posting from exactly the same computer as you are. How’d that happen? My god, you must have a ninja on the premises, using your own My First Computer! CALL THE POLICE.

    No, you do not have good points. No, you are not clever. No, you are obviously NOT getting laid, and no, you probably won’t ever be unless you pay for it or ask your mother nicely.

    By the way, if either of your personalities want to know what they’ll be boasting is the Best! Facebook! Thread! Evar! by this time next year, you can check out what people are talking about on Twitter right now:

    You’re welcome. Say hi to your mother for me.

  8. Dear Rain man,

    You continue to amuse me. Thank you. I didn’t realize it would be this easy to get you angry. Take a deep breath and remember, there’s no reason to get angry. You truly are delusional. While I still have doubts that you fully understand what’s going on here, I am now 100% certain that you are full of shit.
    You failed to defend yourself on almost everything I mentioned, which would state the obvious. Again, where and when was this prestigious “conference” you speak of? Instead of defending yourself, you opted to sound like a dim-witted 15 year old kid with “mother jokes”.
    It’s now clear who I am dealing with … you have exposed your true, pathetic identity with those lame comment fails. Again, assuming and making us laugh in the process. I’ll bet you were the type of kid that when told you were stupid (which you obviously are) would answer with, “NO, YOU’RE STUPID!”
    With those “mama jokes” you just showed all 6 of your fans on this bullshit thread that you are nothing more than a simpleton. Let me repeat that … “all SIX of your fans on this bullshit thread”. I would bet “the best thread ever” would have a lot more comments at the end of it. You’re a joke, and you always will be at this rate. You mentioned that my new comments on your thread “drive traffic to the site” … no wonder you’re happy, there was no one here in the first place, lol. It WOULD take someone like me to drive traffic into a thread fail like this one. =)
    As for what (RustlnPeace) said on here, that’s his own opinion. I work in an (IT) department for a large company and he sits right beside me on the same network. Laughing at you has become a daily routine and we enjoy it. I don’t need help making you look bad, that has become very clear. Or, maybe you looked at the ip address because it seemed impossible to you that two more people wrote a comment on here since September 29, 2010, lol. Everything you say to me seems to fail, quit while you’re behind. =)
    As for the sex comment, I am 31 and married to a woman that thinks sex is the most important part of our marriage. lol, anything else?



  9. LOL! Wow you got verbally smashed, Rain. If it means anything to you, i thought your status was kinda funny though.

  10. Pingback: Why it’s called “Meatspace” « raincoaster

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