Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present Patrick Deuel.

I guess it’s People Who Shouldn’t Breed Day in the ol’ raincoaster blog, eh?

There is a tenderly written account of Patrick’s personal journey from the weight of a Percheron cross to the weight of a Harley Davidson here. I note that, however delicate and PC its tone, the link is called “Fatman” on the CBC website, nicely highlighting the difference between the American and Canadian approach to writing about morbidly obese people; ie here it’s okay to make fun of them if you don’t think they’ll notice. Nice.

Give him this link. Let no one accuse me of closetation!

A Nebraska man who once weighed 1072 pounds has dropped another 81 pounds in surgery that removed a chunk of fat, skin and fluids hanging from his waist. Patrick Deuel, 43, weighed in at 400 pounds after the operation on Tuesday at a hospital in Sioux Falls, S.D. Doctors performed the surgery because the extra flesh made it hard for Deuel to walk.

Chyeah, not like the other 400 they left. The doctors are all excited because before he used to be too fat to exercise. And how do they think he got that way, hmmmmm? I’m sure he’ll be doing marathons in no time and recording videos with Kathy Smith. And if you believe me, I’ve got some oceanfront property in Saskatchewan for sale.

Deuel weighed 1,072 pounds and was dying of heart failure when he checked into the hospital in Sioux Falls in June 2004. Before he entered the facility, he hadn’t left his home in seven years and was so big that workers had to cut a hole in his bedroom wall to get him out.

Which brings to mind the words of the prophet David Letterman.

Skinny people are bringing this guy food.

Just stop!

Problem solved.