Yes, we've all seen it a billion times, but it's still funny.

Those have to be his own fat, crossbred dachsunds; if you were hiring dachsunds and you walked into a showbiz dog rental agency and you said, "I'm making a ridonkulous music video called 'Hooked on a Feeling' and I need a coupla weiner dogs schnell!" and they handed you these, wouldn't you hand them right back and tell them to get with the bulimia, this is Hollywood, baby!

Damn right you would.

Anyway, from the Backbencher column in the Politics section of the Guardian (where else, I ask you) comes news that The Hoff, in possibly the penultimate move of late-career-downward-out-of-control-spiralling, will appear later this year in a suburban Christmas Pantomime.

"He was keen to work in theatre over here to entertain his legions of Baywatch fans," gushes a press officer, who is sadly unable to confirm or deny speculation that Pamela Anderson will play Tinkerbell.