Meet Russett. Russett is, as you'll have guessed from the above headline, a Jack Russell. God is exerting all his divine forces and calling on the Armies of Heaven, working hard keeping all the wee Jack Russells alive, for lo, he knows they're yappy, spoilt little buggers and he don't want none of that 'round Heaven. Word.

Russett was out for a walk recently with his owner, who is also not the brightest porch light on his particular block. One or both of them should have an intelligence-assistance animal, like the blind have guide dogs. Perhaps we could get them a matched set of monkeys. Actually, they're both so dumb we could get them a matched pair of Sea Monkeys and it would still be a boost in the ol' brain pan.

Anyhoo…

Russett and Russett's Daddy were out for a walk. And where else would you take your off-leash-and-doesn't-come-when-called terrier but along the edge of a 450-foot cliff.

You see this coming, right?

Mr Coombes, a yacht chandler from St Helens on the island, said: "All of a sudden he spotted a rabbit and shot off towards the edge of the cliff but lost his footing.

Distraught [he] peered over the precipice to see his beloved six-year-old pet tumbling down the cliff face and immediately called the coastguard.

One rather substantial Coast Guard intervention later, Russett is safe and sound, if rather dinged up in spots.

Mr Coombes said: "He's made a remarkable recovery. He's walking around the garden and already started barking at the postman again. He wants to go out for a proper walk but I think i'll give it a bit of time after the fright he gave me. I will definitely be keeping him on a lead in the future.