Well the first thing you need to know is that the official beer is Budweiser and the official food supplier is McDonald's, so bring your own supplies. Since you're a socialist, bring enough to share; you might even convert a few desperate capitalist swine, particularly the toffs, who would rather die (or convert to socialism) rather than snarf Big Macs and wash them down with Bud, Lite or Hevy. You can flush them out by flourishing strawberries and Champagne; co-op grown and bottled only, please.

And now, the official socialist's guide to the world cup:

As World Cup fever grips the globe, many progressives will be sighing at the prospect of another sporting spectacle distracting the “masses” from the pressing issues of the day — the classic “bread and circuses” argument. There is a tendency on the North American Left to disdain sport: its competitive nature, the corporatization of its grand events, its inherent masculinities and cultures of exclusion.

Some of this critique is grounded in good sociology; some of it bears an irrational disdain for that in which one does not participate or enjoy. In many sports, but especially in “the beautiful game,” politics and the game have a symbiotic relationship. Politics can influence and be influenced by what happens on the field of play. The World Cup is no exception.

My parents immigrated to Canada from Liverpool in the 1960s; growing up, soccer and socialism were the main topics of discussion in the Black household. Conversations at the dinner table moved seamlessly between football and politics, England’s chances in the World Cup and the NDP’s chances in the upcoming election.

I only committed my life to socialism after being rejected as a professional soccer player (a brief stint with the English Premier League’s Watford FC is my footballing claim to fame).

Indeed a path to enlightenment shared by many a socialist. I myself was a libertarian until I was rejected by the Vancouver Voodoo. A little-known fact: it was Leon Trotsky, and not Fidel Castro, who tried out for, and was rejected by, the Washington Senators.