Another Windsor hits the headlines
Honorary Lance Corporal William Windsor was
stripped of his rank this week after attacking
the arse of a military drummer. The regimental
goat of the 1st Battalion Royal Welch regiment,
otherwise known as “Billy”, refused to march
———————–
What do you call an unemployed goat? Billy Idol.
What do you call a goat at sea? Billy Ocean.
What do you call a goat that mimes? Billi Vanilli.
—————————————————–
>> Don\’t look back in anger <<
Christina Aguilera needs charm school
Christina Aguilera has always had a diva
attitude – arriving hours late for everything,
big demands, feuds with everyone from Mariah
to Kelly Osbourne.
Now with the release of her new album she\’s
learned a new trick. During promo interviews
she\’s refused to look at any journalist.
Instead, the diva insists that the interview,
for which she\’s usually two to four hours late,
takes place in a dimly lit room, where she sits
and stares in the other direction completely
to the journalists while they ask, and she
answers, questions.
—————————————————–
Hoffwatch: Dave is today receiving treatment at St
Thomas\’ Hospital, after leaving the Sanderson Hotel
in an ambulance. He "cut himself shaving", apparently.
—————————————————–
>> Belgian buffoonery <<
Jean-Claude just can\’t kick the habit
“,1] ); //–> and stay in line during the parade at the
Episkopi garrison, Cyprus, and ended up
headbutting a group of military drummers before
attacking them with his horns.
Now bad boy Billy has been demoted and has lost
the perks of his rank, such as being saluted.
—————————————————–
What do you call an unemployed goat? Billy Idol.
What do you call a goat at sea? Billy Ocean.
What do you call a goat that mimes? Billi Vanilli.
raincoaster 
Speaking as an allegedly professional journalist, I would take advantage of Aguilera’s demands for an interview setting to look in the opposite direction and take a nap under the generally optimal conditions, ie. dim light and the presence of a blond, monotone ambient noise machine.
and on the subject of “what do you call . . .” jokes . . .
What do you call an armless and legless man in the water? Bob
What do you call an armless and legless man in a pile of leaves? Russell
What do you call an armless and legless man hanging on a wall? Art
Man, those are probably worth a three year sentence in Vancouver.
This post is proof of Merridale Cider’s potentcy: I actually meant to post a poem I’d written about the neighbors instead of a snippet of Popbitch. Oh well, it’s still interesting!
Sounds like I should have answered the aeroporn for the cider instead. Wanna hear some Helen Keller jokes instead?
Sure! I’m the least PC person you’ll ever meet. IF we ever meet.
How did Helen Keller burn her fingers? Reading the waffle iron.
How did Helen Keller burn her head? Bobbing for french fries.
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? Answering the iron.
How many hands did it take for Helen Keller to masturbate? Two – one for the act and one to moan.
Hear about Helen Keller falling off a cliff? She screamed her hands off.
Baaaaad. Thanks!