Octopus vs Shark

After all this time you aught to know how to handicap this. Actually quite gruesome, in fact.

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30 thoughts on “Octopus vs Shark

  1. The arms of big business

    And their sucking little cups

    turned my world an inky black

    but drew me in like cute little pups (bear with me, I’m having a Conway Twitty moment here)

    In an embrace as tight as my ex, I saw a scary beak

    And knew I was gonna die

    cos things were looking bleak.

    (still gotta work in the lawyer thingy)

  2. Two comments:

    They waited ‘week after week’ before investigating why there were shark carcasses in the bottom of the tank?

    Obviously they weren’t feeding that octopus enough.

  3. As for the country music, well I thought all Yanks knew it was “Cuz” and not “cos” which is British. Country aficionados use “Cuz” because it’s simpler to remember one word with two meanings than also to have to memorize “Cousin.” or “Uncle Daddy.”

  4. I’m one to talk. You know that song “The Orange and the Green”? There you have my family tree: a whole civil war in one woman. No wonder I turned out the way I did.

  5. That was my reason for living for a coule of years – wearing orange on St. Patrick’s Day to piss off a fellow reporter who wore his Irish heritage on his sleeve, even though he was as Irish as Paddy’s pig.

    I’ve got a little Welsh in me, but I don’t go running around toasting the Prince of Wales all day.

  6. Not saying that being a Sea King driver is a bad thing either, but it’s a character defect that I still give Phanton drivers a fraction of slack – even if Charles flew that damned Spey-powered gimp version or if our own Randy Cunningham managed to mangle forever his reputation as an ace (and not even that good a reputation, since I’ve met Steve Ritchie, our other, much more likeable Phantom ace). Come to think of it, if you’ve met, read or heard about Cunningham, Chawles gets an extra fraction of a point in the standings. A fraction, mind you . . . .

    Nothing like being a relativist >B^D

  7. PS didn’t Andy qualify for Chinook as well? He basically has a solid career as an aviator. Charles wore the uniform, he walked the walk just long enough for Philip to get off his back and then he went back to Highcroft and started jabbering to his herbaceous borders. His heart wasn’t in it.

    Mind you, as a former Greenpeacer, I have respect for both types. But I mean, come on. “Was on stage with Donny Osmond” does NOT outrank “spent eternity toiling in twilight, only to be discovered after death”.

    Although Donny was cute.

  8. If your apostate is fried, I’d just drive you to the hospital for a replacement anyway. I don’t date fried apostates.

    Thankfully, in Canada getting your apostate replaced is free!

  9. Tourists promise to “pay later” and if it’s an emergency (as I presume a fried apostate would be, but then how would I know?) they take you anyway. If it’s not an emergency they lapse into broken English and say, “Sor-ay, madame, oui ne do zeez op-AY-razion ici maintenant, alors bien eh?” over and over until the tourist goes away muttering about socialism.

    As for the Durham theory, it accounts for much. Brazilliant!

  10. I stole it from Perez Hilton, actually (check blogroll). He’s Cuban, though. Clicking on his blog automatically triggers a trace at the NSA. They are very confused, there, about just what Nicole Richie’s role is in national security.

    As are we all.

  11. Our national security infrastructure can be described through this (slightly mangled) excerpt froma Pink Panther movie.

    “Look out, there’s a boumb!”

    “A boom?”

    “Yes, a boumb?”

    “A boom?”

    “A boumb, a boumb!”

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