Check the moon forecast before skating after dark.
Avoid, thereby, embarassing conversations with rhododendrons and skunk collisions.
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raincoaster 
Conversing with potted plants and bumping into things. Sounds like normal Raincoaster to me (stretching the word normal like a flannel blanket trying to hide an elephant).
Norms are relative! I didn’t actually HIT the skunk, but the raccoon did look at me with a “what is your PROBLEM” look on its face.
Oh, wait . . you weren’t ACTUALLY talking with the rhodendrons . . . okay. That’s cool. I was worried for a second that you were having a more-than-typical delusional episode.
Be cool. Chill.
No, I actually WAS talking to the rhododendrons. I thought they were tourists.
It was really dark, okay!
I did hit a skunk a couple of years ago, on that same patch. So this is progress.
Actually, the rhodies are more like illegal immigrants with permanent resident status, but I can see how you could have confused the two. Many of them choose not to speak English in the hope that sweaty roller-bladers will stop harrassing them.
They were the same shape. But it was the tourist who called me an “asshole” as I skated by. I was so surprised I didn’t even stop to sever his lone testicle. We shouldn’t allow them in the city until they’ve sworn to stay off the wheelway.
Sweaty skater, hmmmmmmmmmm . . . . . .. .
Sweaty skater. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm . . . .
damn sticky key, and no, it’s not sticky for that reason
Sure, sure. What I said about married men.
We’re all pigs, and I’m the Lord of the Flies.
But admit it, you have to be impressed with someone who can quote Mark Knopfler on demand, Huh? Huh?
Uh, sure. Careful; you know those guys who go on dates and can’t think of anything to say and therefore end up quoting Simpsons/Monty Python lines all evening? Don’t be that guy.
I much prefer quoting Bernard Shaw (George), Kinky Friedman, and lines from Plan 9 from Outer Space. I have a slight literary bent, you know . . . .
Very good. Throw in some Bertrand Russel, though. It scores major points with the socialists!
But that makes it hard to reconcile with the one or two lines of Kipling I can remember when sober.
I do backslide slightly however – MP’s Philosopher Song still has a loopy, esoteric charm.
http://www.adelaide.edu.au/library/guide/hum/philosophy/divert.html
I don’t think I like Kipling. But then, I’ve never actually Kippled.
I suppose it’s all in how you like your Bacon Donne.