After an apparently-peaceful slumber of some millennia, it appears that the legended philosopher Socrates has returned to wreak vengence on his killers. ABC via Fark.

The only thing standing in the way of safeguarding Kentucky hemlocks is the lack of funding, said Tim McClure, a state forest health environmental scientist.

“If we don’t act on this and put some resources to it, we’re looking at a major problem,” McClure said at Pine Mountain State Park, the latest site to report infested [haunted, ghoul-ridden] trees… Large-scale destruction in neighboring states has cost millions.

McClure said it’s not a matter of “if” more Kentucky hemlocks will be under attack, “it’s a matter of when.”

So far, the bug [revenant] has attacked at least 100 trees at Pine Mountain and Rebel Rock in Harlan County.

Plato better watch his ass.