A word of warning: this site does, just as you’d expect, feature corny background music that comes up and irritatingly synths around the whole time the page is up, but as I say, what can you expect from Jean Fucking Teasdale, perhaps the most perfect example of the average internet addict that the world has ever seen? What could be more typical? Only the fact that this “fansite” is, in fact, her own creation. Do check out the fan fiction; it’s unmissable!
The Pew Institute earlier this year released an exhaustive study of internet use and demographics and they found, much to their surprise, that the mean internet user, who was in fact quite average and not a little mean, even though she doesn’t want you to think so and uses any number of animated teddy and kitten gifs in her chain emails to further her warm and cuddly image, wasn’t the 15-year-old antisocial boy the advertisers were looking for at all, but was, in fact, a 45-year-old, highly socialized woman.
Jean Teasdale is their leader. 
Resistance is futile: You will be assimilated. Have a happy!
raincoaster 
Hey, just came by to say hello, as I have came across you on three sites recently, it seems you either have exceptional taste in blogs, or I don’t have as good taste in them as I first thought. Hopefully the former, anyway, Boris, Guido and Gawker are all good.
Your deadspinners ref. had me baffled though, were lots of them commenting before?
Hey stranger! Thanks for the compliments; all will be gratefully accepted here.
Last week on Tuesday Deadspin and Gawker swapped editors, and the commenters were invited to switch as well. Deadspin.com is a sports fan site, or as I prefer to call it, a rest home for wankers who can’t, themselves, perform. They came on like a herd of remedial-learning, basement-dwelling lumberers, and the Gawkers responded with predictable scorn. If my memory doesn’t fail me, I suggested that they go back to their basement apartments and jerk off with their mothers’ underwear, same as every night of their sorry-ass lives.
I love dumb people. What would we do without them, eh?
Woah, sounds like you kicked some ass. I missed this, as I don’t get time to check everyday, altho will now have to look back to see what went on, I’m quite intrigued to see what Gawkers ed’s did to Deadspin! I’m rather enjoying wonkette at the moment, I do wish some English blogs would be so funny and intelligent on the same scale!
Wonkette is all right, but it was funnier when whatsername was writing it. Guido used to be funnier; I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately, but his heart doesn’t seem to be in it. He doesn’t seem to be having fun anymore. He’s gone stale. I think it may have something to do with his attempts to monetize the blog more than he has been doing; the advertising consortium (which will never get ANYWHERE without a competent designer, which it does not have) the web tv, transparent attempts to drive traffic to affiliate sites etc, etc.
Although I was fascinated to see him put down that Zac Goldsmith is shtupping his sister-in-law. He wouldn’t put that out there if he thought he’d be sued, so what’s up with that?
That is without a doubt the most pathetic yet hilarious site I have seen in a while. The fan fiction was absolutely awful – worse than anything I ever came across during my writing degree days at UVic. I loved the funereal music that played on her resume page. Thanks for the link to this; it really made my day.
And BTW, it’s amazing how the liberal throwing around of exclamation points can lead people to believe all is hunky dory! I get it all the time! I’m feeling crappy, yet add a few well-placed exclamation points in emails or blog posts and everyone assumes things are great! Jean has this down to an art, apparently!
Jean is a genius! You should read her old columns from the Onion. They’re so true-to-life, especially when she had the Goth stalker/copycats, it’s scary. But Jean Teasdale is the platonic ideal of a phenomenon that is very, very real. That’s truly scary.
BTW I added you to the blogroll. I’d tried to do it before, but it didn’t take for wahtever reason.
Thanks for the link; I appreciate it.
Well, if this penomenon is real, it is scary. I didn’t read the Onion bits, I must admit, but I’ll go back and do so.
Crap – cannot view the Onion columns; my browser is too old. I sooooo need a new computer.
Really? That’s bad. I’m running Windows 98 and I get insulted regularly about how old it is. I just say, “So when are you buying me a laptop?”
Unfortunately, there are a fair number of Jean Teasdales in the world, and they all have their men who are all, unfortunately, exactly the same. You meet them alot in fandom because when one’s life isn’t terribly fullfilling, one looks for those things elsewhere. I speak from experience here, not condescension.
But I never, EVER used animated kitten gifs in a chain email! Nor did I have a LiveJournal! So I retain some shreds of dignity, and wrap them around myself like streaming TP.
Oh, I’ve seen some pretty bad LJs, lemme tell you.
I’m running Internet Explorer 5.1 on an old Mac and I can barely view half the pages I normally visit anymore. And it hates LJs! It’s also not a fan of WordPress…
Have you seen DeadJournal? After a few too many extra-wholesomey LJ’s, suicidal starts to look appealing. I just think, if I had all that time on my hands and all that money to spend, would I buy gingham and make a pinafore for my cat? NO. I WOULD NOT. And I certainly wouldn’t post it and ask my friends for comments. It would only start a round of bitter pinafore one-upmanship, and the world doesn’t need another one of those.
I don’t know about the Zac thing, but I do get bored with the constant traffic bragging and whoring the blog out everywhere! Maybe it’s time for a Robert Catesby site to set up in competition ;)
If Guido can only get back to what he was, he’d recapture that buzz. It’s that I think he’s gone stale because now he cares more about the hits than about the content of the blog, because he’s got money riding on it. Blogs need someone who is passionately engaged with their material, not with their numbers.
That advertising consortium is going to take a bath if they don’t redesign their ads. They look like two different, equally crappy ads instead of one big, crappy one.
Coyote: I was on a Mac at work with IE 5.something. Were I you I’d nip over to Mozilla or oldversion.com and see if they’ve got any Firefox to fit. I switched and it helped.
Jean Teasdale is glorious in isolation. But I lost all interest when I started meeting her in real life. My last near-marriage experience was one. Had a heart and soul that wanted to collect all the beanie babies, had a site that should have come with a blood sugar test kit, the works.
Worse, when I started trucking I discovered that there are people out there who really do have that ornery perkiness, and Teasdale stopped being fun.
Yes, that’s just it; when you realize it’s an archetype and not just a joke, it switches from a Harlequin novel to a Beckett play.