Now there’s a loaded expression.
After retiring from a modelling career that went up and down with the tidal shifts in her saline implants, becoming the human trainwreck hostess of the original Reality TV celebrities-more-fucked-up-than-us show, marrying a wizened zombie with one foot in the grave (nip slip in the wedding photos), hosting a poolside wake for him a few months later and nearly knocking the casket into the water with her drunken antics, sexually assaulting at least one personal assistant, and killing off her eldest child by sharing a Barbaro-sized dose of recreational methadone, Anna Nicole Smith has finally done the right thing by her offspring and has died of the both euphemistic and true-on-so-many-levels heart failure at the Hard Rock Casino resort in Florida.
Do you know anyone else who parties so hard they take a private nurse with them to the Casino?
Update: looks like she needed that nurse!
While it’s a shame when anyone so young is taken, I can’t bring myself to shed a tear for this narcissistic hedonist. Her little girl (paternity still a matter before the courts) is better off without her. If Anna Nicole Smith did an honest, generous act in her life the track record would lead me to believe she did it by accident.
Defamer, as always, has the best roundup.
Larry King is back, and he’s confident that the legal system will eventually figure out who’s the father of her newborn daughter Dannielynn. He almost sounds cocky about it, leading us to suspect he’s trying to hint the baby is his, just to prove his incredible virility at an advanced age.
King once again falls into reverie, recalling the time she appeared on his show so drunk and incomprehensible that SNL reran the interview without altering it. She’s compared to Marilyn Monroe (for a variety of reasons), called “not the smartest woman in the world,” but also “fun.” King is clearly working through his feelings on-air.
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raincoaster 
Whoa now! Sharing a hit of methadone with her son? Where did you hear that from? Even my twisted little brain missed that one…..I’m jealous!
Either way, that’s fucked up.
While, I admit, Anna Nicole was built like a brick outhouse, I really don’t make a habit of hanging out at outhouses.
The methadone that he died from was from her bottle. It had her name on it, and had been prescribed to her. And she’d taken it that day: the baby was born addicted to methadone.
I was not aware of that. That’s too bad.
Hate to say it, but maybe her poor daughter has a shot at a normal life now.
Yes, seriously if Angelina Jolie adopted her she’d be better off. She’d be better off with just about anyone other than her alleged father or maybe Woody Allen.
As Valet of the Dolls said on Defamer: at least her death is being treated with the dignity and respect she always personified in life.
“Tits up” was my suggested headline for the obit.
This obit is in rather poor taste. However, I’ve just worked out the considerable age difference between me and her daughter. In thirty years time, and if I’m lucky to make several hundred million dollars in the intervening period, I think we’d make a nice couple. It certainly has to be the exit of choice for rich old blokes, let’s face it.
Juvenal, her LIFE was in poor taste. It was her business and her personal style. She sold to the tabloids personal pictures of her son that she took on the day he died. Here’s just a single year of headlines from just one website:
http://defamer.com/hollywood/anna-nicole-smith/defamer-remembers-an-unforgettable-year-of-anna-nicole-235200.php
There are 28 stories there, every single one of them tawdry beyond belief. Valet was right.
And you won’t be able to afford her daughter: remember, the kid ended up with everything. If she can prevent her sperm donor from poisoning her or giving her a “heart attack” she will be as rich as Athina Roussel.
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Please don’t misinterpret my quaint English sarcasm. I had a lump in my throat as I read your obituary. Although, if she did choke on her own vomit, perhaps that’s a poor turn of phrase.
It is indeed. Just don’t take any barbiturates and you should be fine though.
What you need is to find an ugly, rich girl. But now that surgery is cheap and good enough to make even a camelface like Paris Hilton look presentable, it’s doubtful you can. Roussel had her own potato nose and sack-o-potato butt reduced before she was 18.
A great comedy show over here recently pointed out the problem of the increased prevalence of cosmetic surgery – what if two butt-ugly people meet post-op, think their other half is naturally beautiful, and have a family? The resulting genetic horrors would be enough to make your Cthulhu look like Playmate of the Month.
Yes, Jerry Seinfeld (who is coming to live this particular nightmare) had a routine about that years ago. His wife has had more work done than the Autobahn system.
Hmm. Well, ugly people need love, too. Who cares if they make ugly children, they’ll just get surgery, too.
Provided the parents don’t spend it on gigolos and facelifts.