If Hannibal Lecter were an obstetrician, these would be standard maternity wear. As it is, they’re popular among a certain set that never should have entered the gene pool in the first place.
I know waaaaay too many women who are going for cosmetic cesareans with a side of tummy tucks, rationalizing to anyone who gets within arm’s reach that the recovery time is less than a natural birth; actually, no. They just stitch you up and send you home faster. It’s major abdominal surgery, and you’ll need that trapeze in the bedroom for getting out of bed rather than any of the activities for the sake of which you went through with an elective invasive procedure. And in case you’re wondering: he’ll still cheat on you anyway. Glad to be of service!
Stolen from Gawker, who had their own, for once somewhat less pointed words to say about it.
Actually, you know, I’d love to see Fat Bastard in one of these.
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
raincoaster 
“It’s major abdominal surgery, and you’ll need that trapeze in the bedroom for getting out of bed rather than any of the activities for the sake of which you went through with an elective invasive procedure.”
Well yes. Except it seems the stupid bints who opt for ‘cosmetic caesareans’ are more concerned with keeping their snatches tight. Bottom feeders of the gene pool, indeed.
I’ve had a hysterectomy, which is basically the same procedure as a caesarean, except they remove the whole ‘package’ and not just the baby. It takes weeks to recover, and it really hurts a lot. There are extra risks involved as with all invasive surgery … and apparently the emotional recovery time can be up to a year. I can’t imagine doing this whilst having to care for a newborn, unless the procedure had been a life or death situation. Or unless I was a totally self-centered shit-for-brains who had ten maids a milkin’ and various other staff to take care of *the thing* they took out of my abdomen.
As an emergency procedure, of course caesareans are a wonderful option – keeps women and new-born babies from dying on the op table.
As a cosmetic procedure so one’s vagina doesn’t get stretched out and the woman doesn’t actually have to experience childbirth … huh?
Exactly. As an emergency medical procedure, it’s a life saver.
And what’s most heinous is that doctors are marketing these in a package with tummy tucks. Like I said, if he’s cheating on you now, it’s not because your snatch is wobbly or you’re fat; it’s because that’s who HE is.
I have one friend who is so THRILLED that she is going to have this surgery, because she’ll be able to go right back to everything she did before, including fitting into her jeans. Uh, no. What the hell kind of irresponsible doctor must she have?
Tell her to get elastic inserts in her jeans …
Also tell her that if she thinks she’ll be able to go right back to everything she did before then she should probably put the kid up for adoption…
“What the hell kind of irresponsible doctor must she have?”
Exactly the kind of doctor irresponsible people such as this person look for to back up their selfish attitudes.
I’ve no doubt she’ll learn a literally painful lesson. She’s invited her mother to stay for a week to help, but doesn’t want a nanny. There is no way she’ll be up for caring for an infant within a week. She’s a smart girl, but she is not in some ways a wise one. She will be, in a couple more months.
It does seem more and more wome are getting c sections these days. FYI I had a vaginal birth and it was all natural – no drugs!
Why wouldn’t you want to experience childbirth? Some serious bonding going on there. Sort of hitting the gym and paying your dues.
I would see it that way as well. I would go for all-natural, with a side of competent medical staff. If my sister had been born at home, she’d have died, so I do have faith in hospital births, but there’s no need to get all severistic about the abdomen. Also, did you know they normally only bother to sew up three layers when there are actually seven? No wonder it takes so long to heal!
Are you still at child bearing age, Raincoaster?
Haha just kidding. I’m getting up there too you know – the gap is closing in big time.
Don’t want anymore of those little buggers. Would much prefer to adopt but I have to find my Brad Pitt first.
Oh please don’t get mad at me for saying that. I’m getting my hair bleached today and having a mad blogger on my hands might cause some bad hair karma.
It occurs to me that sportin’ a shirt like that would cause a lot of guilt for women who plan to have abortions. I mean, that sorta fucks with your head.
Not a problem. I still grow my own estrogen, but since chemo a few years ago the whole childbirthing thing has been uncertain. I’d love to have kids, but I can’t find a man I could tolerate living with except Jaime and Cybergypsy, and they’re both gay.
Hmmm, maybe I should introduce them to one another.
SG, just imagine what wearing one of those does to a woman after she miscarries. She’d burn it!
Oh yeah, if you wore that after miscarriage I would think you’re pretty masochistic.
Or in denial.
Farming your own estrogen? Hey, while you’re down there in your pseudo lab could you please mix up the elixir for eternal life? There are some people I’d like to get back at but fear I won’t be able to get at them; figuring I’d impose the grudge on their offspring.
The elixir of eternal life is well-known. It’s made from the blood of conservative politicians. Help yourself, everybody!!!! Daily applications work best!
I won’t dare make a joke about offing George Bush…
If it keeps you pretty, isn’t it worth it?
Being roughed up and questioned by G Men? Only if they are cute.
Exactly. That’s why I don’t mind when the neighbors call the cops on me; we have LOTS of cute cops!
By the way, I didn’t mean to come across as being so harsh towards your friend in my comment 4 – I was simply talking about her actions/wishes as you described them. It’s good to hear you have hope that she will ‘see the light’ once she has her baby and starts caring for it.
“It occurs to me that sportin’ a shirt like that would cause a lot of guilt for women who plan to have abortions. I mean, that sorta fucks with your head.”
I’m surprised anti-abortion fanatics haven’t already started issuing them as part of a uniform, SG, to wear whilst they do other vile things such as thrust photos of dead foetuses in the faces of women walking into abortion clinics. I truly find it hard not to hate those bunch of %&!#’s.