Kumari Fulbright Schadenfreude Special: Beauty Queen Goes Bad

Ah, how the world loves a Beauty Queen. From the blister-inducing stripper heels in the swimsuit competition (guess they’ll be swimming with sharks) to the painful nailing of the tiara to the skull at the coronation, to the ozone-depleting layers of hairspray that make the triumphant ride in the convertible possible, truly il fait suffrir pour etre belle.

Or even, it appears, laide.

One man who suffered because his beauty queen was not laid was this poor, anonymous Arizona man, who dumped the handsome-looking Miss Kumari Fulbright, law student, model, Miss Pima County in 2005, Miss Desert Sun in 2006, and repeat Miss Arizona (and boyfriend) loser.

Bad move.

Kumari Fulbright, Miss Automatic Weapons 2007?

As you might have gathered from the above image of the doubtless-to-be-portrayed-by-Hilary Swank Miss Fulbright, she is no stranger to the handling of more weaponry than a law student/beauty queen/model could normally claim to require under standard operating procedure.

But she’s always been anything but standard, of course. So, naturally, when she found herself holed up alone in the Heartbreak Hotel, Dumpsville, she contacted three thugs of her acquaintance and persuaded them, presumably for a fee or services rendered, to assist her in the kidnapping and torturing of her now ex-beloved.

Court documents said the foursome tied the man up with plastic cable ties and duct tape, holding him at two Tucson homes, during which time they pointed handguns at him, threatened his life, stole his cell phone, briefcase and wallet, taking between $500 and $600.

The newspaper also said the documents accused Fulbright of biting him several times, sticking a butcher knife in his ear, saying she was going to kill him and pointing a pistol at him.The Star said after eight to 10 hours, the victim grabbed Fulbright’s gun, which went off, and he fled the house screaming for help.

Ah, but as with so many love stories, the best is yet to come. Yes, beauty queens give us many gifts. The gift of beauty, the gift of talent, the gift of youth, the gift of hope, but most of all…

the gift of Schadenfreude.

Click over the jump to view the truly satisfying end to a real-life Bruce Springsteen ballad gone bad…

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

The Mug Shot

Kumari Fulbright mug shot. Shadentastic!

As Dlisted puts it:

This mug shot has everything you could ever want. It looks like she’s crying from being scared, but I bet you bitch is having major withdrawals. The meth marks on her face are a lovely touch…I’m also guessing she was topless and they threw a sheet over her. This mug shot is all sorts of great. Whatever she uses as her official pageant photo she should throw away and replace with this mug shot. This shit is true glamour.

 

24 thoughts on “Kumari Fulbright Schadenfreude Special: Beauty Queen Goes Bad

  1. This is the greatest mug shot ever. Better than anything on “The Smoking Gun.” Do prisons have beauty contests? Maybe she could win the 2008 Arizona State Pen for Women competition.

  2. Greetings from the land that gave you the word Schadenfreude.
    Could it be she’s bawling because they dragged her by the hair to sit before the camera? Looks that way…

  3. Wow. I thought I had bad hair days but she wins.

    [You know it is wrong when a beauty quin can beat you out for the bad hair contest too. Sigh.]

  4. Well, she’s a pretty unnatural blonde. And pretty manly, too. I bet they threw the sheet over her to hide the fur on her chest (carpet doesn’t match the drapes and all that, you know).

  5. Excellent post, rain! It’s exactly the type of quality post I’ve come to know and expect from you.

    That picture (mug shot)..whoa!!!!!!

    And about Bruce and Schadenfreude (I know I’ve botched that) – his most melancholly songs that always brought me some twisted sense of pleasure were “The River” (where he knocks up his high school girlfriend) and “Atlantic City” (any song that starts “well they blew up the chicken-man in philly last night” is bound to catch my attention).

  6. ….upon further review, does anyone else get the feeling when looking at that mugshot that she’s about to chastize us for our refusal to “leave brittany alone”???

  7. That’s one nasty pimple/wart/growth/kuato she has groing between her eyes. Looks like a meth addict to me. $10 says she pissed herself in her meth induced haze and that’s why she’s wrapped in the poncho.

  8. That sheet is sometimes used my police to cover clothing, I have seen it in other mug shots, no other reason.
    NOW, I can’t wait to here her defense, I bet she will play victim and blame everybody but herself for the crime.

  9. Sadly, yes this woman will play the abused woman card, and get off scott free. We’ve seen it happen with Mary Winkler and Andrea Yates.

    When will society realize that women can be just as cruel and violent as men can be?

  10. I agree with kara… she is probably going to play society through the victim card. come on, she has law education, just enough about the system, that i bet she thought that through way before this plan was hatched. she is prepared, somehow I am sure. as for men being victimized by as cruel and violent women, yes this is so true, we must wake up as a world and realize that too! It is a very sad world when the true victims cannot fight because of biased ways of thinking. I hope we are wrong here but fear we are not..

  11. Um, there were three other men involved here who probably, if they were associates of the girl, also were associates of the guy she had been dating. Does anyone really think this is a woman scorned thing? To me it looks like a business transaction and/or robbery gone bad with a whole lot of drugs, fire arms, and cash in the mix.

  12. No need to generalize: just look at her. She obviously feels like a victim.

    max, got to disagree with you on that; a law student with a federal clerkship isn’t likely to be in need of cash. It looks like the exact same set of circumstances that put Liesl Whatsername in Colorado prison for murder: she wanted to teach her ex a lesson and things got way out of hand.

  13. This bitch is a con artist if I ever saw one before! She is a major in physcology and can fool the judge too if she has not fucked him already she is good for using what she has to get what she wants…. They say she is drug free! Ha she smokes weed like a chimney!!! Not to mention she was a stripper in Detroit at the Playhouse, LandingStrip, and the Pantheon! kumari aka KU and her lovely Robert robbed mt apartment that I was sub leasing from her in michigan. She took all of my belongings from my son and I!!!! We even shared the same boyfriend who is also incarcerated on drug charges and assault…. She is beautiful but UGLY on the inside and she will get off because its not what you know but who you know!!! She knows how to sexually minipulate people!!! Bless this bitch with a heart….. she is a weed smoking pill poppin dick sucking gold digging scamming thieving ass hoe who has over stayed her welcome in the real world!

  14. Maybe Dlisted should do the world a favor & stop judging. Or maybe he’s had the same problem… I feel sorry for this girl. I pray for her & others like her.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.