every waiter’s nightmare

Married To The Sea

I haven’t worked at Starbucks in nine years, but I STILL remember the neurasthenic cat lady (who no doubt taught pottery to survivors of sexual abuse or goddess affirmations to divorcees or something similar) who asked for a non-fat, no-egg, dairy-free eggnog.

To which I replied that she could not have one, as God did not mean for that to exist. And no, it took them SIX MORE YEARS to fire me!


14 thoughts on “every waiter’s nightmare

  1. Just should have told her you didn’t have any vegan soynog. But yuck! I wouldn’t touch that stuff. What’s the point of steaming milk before pouring it over ice? To dilute your latte even more?

  2. Ah yes, the service industry years. I would have given her a regular eggnog, but tossed some salt or paprika in to make it taste just a lil’ funky, and then told her it was the new LightNog.

    I think I toljabout selling free newspapers at the Hilton already…

  3. rain–
    Since you axed: I was one of three bellhops wearing Hilton monkey suits. Besides humping bags all over the hotel, we ran room service and rented AVIS cars to guests. We were paid less than minimum wage as we were expected to make up the rest in tips. We got creative.

    Next to the bellhop stand was a stack of complimentary newspapers for the hotel guests. Upon that stack, I set a clean ashtray salted with a few quarters. One of our duties was to keep the ashtrays clean… On good days, we’d score $10 apiece.

    Also, when someone asked us to call a taxi, we’d offer to drive them for half price, using one of the AVIS rental cars on the lot. That was very lucrative for a while. Then the hotel manager found out.

    I might expand on this topic in future post on TR.

  4. Git OUT!

    Most of my experience with bellhops comes from watching old movies.

    I look forward to your post on TR. I’ve already posted about the Starbucks assistant manager who made a good living keeping the store open Sunday single-handedly.

  5. Pingback: Bunk’s Days in the Service… Industry « Tacky Raccoons

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