You’ve heard of Punxatawny Phil. And mayhap you’ve heard of Wiarton Willie. And you may even have heard that estimates of the accuracy of their spring-predication (or is it predictification or perhaps prognostificationism?) vary from 30-50%.
Or even 0%, some years.
Well, meet the world’s most accurate weather-predictificating critter, with bonus albinofication (it makes them more sensitive to the sun, see, and that’s just got to be a good thing for a weather-predictificator, right?). Yep, Amazonia Alph here predicts that Spring 2008 will be late in arriving.
Let no man say that Amazonia Alph speaks too soon.
Alph currently resides in a palatial villa outside of Rio with his teenage concubines and a large collection of exotic cars, having retired to enjoy his poker fortune, obtained not by winning but simply by taking so long to make up his mind that all the other players had already died.
raincoaster 
Why do I feel like somebody was walking towards St. Mark’s Place from the Kiev Restaurant, found Alph for sale at $22 (but talked him down to $17) sitting on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven, but only felt whole after taking him home and washing him off?
Weird…
Aww. Where’s his legs? Is Alph really a Heather? Can they tell? Good looking blonde with a hard outer shell anyway.