or, as a commenter on YouTube said, “Paris Hilton gets her first award!”
Couldn’ta happened to a nicer skeeve!
via Defamer, who called it a “brown torpedo” incident.
I suppose, if I wanted to ramp the hits, I’d have called it
Paris Hilton in watersports Apoopolypse!
From Amazon, via Slate, via Gawker. It’s already gone so meta it’s almost closed the circle.
And then the Rapture.
FYI the following was posted on the Amazon page for Thomas Pynchon‘s new book. It’s gone now, but thanks to right-thinking obsessive fans the text has been saved for posterity. And here it is:
“Spanning the period between the Chicago World’s Fair of 1893 and the years just after World War I, this novel moves from the labor troubles in Colorado to turn-of-the-century New York, to London and Gottingen, Venice and Vienna, the Balkans, Central Asia, Siberia at the time of the mysterious Tunguska Event, Mexico during the Revolution, postwar Paris, silent-era Hollywood, and one or two places not strictly speaking on the map at all.
With a worldwide disaster looming just a few years ahead, it is a time of unrestrained corporate greed, false religiosity, moronic fecklessness, and evil intent in high places. No reference to the present day is intended or should be inferred.The sizable cast of characters includes anarchists, balloonists, gamblers, corporate tycoons, drug enthusiasts, innocents and decadents, mathematicians, mad scientists, shamans, psychics, and stage magicians, spies, detectives, adventuresses, and hired guns. There are cameo appearances by Nikola Tesla, Bela Lugosi, and Groucho Marx.
As an era of certainty comes crashing down around their ears and an unpredictable future commences, these folks are mostly just trying to pursue their lives. Sometimes they manage to catch up; sometimes it’s their lives that pursue them.
Meanwhile, the author is up to his usual business. Characters stop what they’re doing to sing what are for the most part stupid songs. Strange sexual practices take place. Obscure languages are spoken, not always idiomatically. Contrary-to-the-fact occurrences occur. If it is not the world, it is what the world might be with a minor adjustment or two. According to some, this is one of the main purposes of fiction.
Let the reader decide, let the reader beware. Good luck.”
–Thomas Pynchon
thx tom ;)
Perfect for me! Socialist/Socialite, who can tell them apart, eh? Via the Generator Blog.
My name is Rain Hoffstetter.
Take The Manhattan Socialite Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey‘s Name Generator Generator.
Pretty freaky name choice, eh? Nobody told me those psocialites were psychic!
Don’t know if you’ve been following the internet drama over at Gawker, but it’s reached DefCon 3 and is heating up faster than John Hinckley at a Freaky Friday matinee. I referred to Crazy Us Weekly Guy once before, with fervent hopes this wasn’t a short, but would turn out more like the LOTR of the Internet, with Jessica in the part of Arwen and C.U.W.G. as Aragorn. I think Janice Min is Denethor, but it’s hard to tell.
In any case, the whole saga has bypassed Middle Earth entirely, and has quickly washed up on the seamy shores of Trees Lounge. No three hour tour, this. Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
A dainty slice from the 200-page potroast of a document which he sent Gawker:
in us weekly, issue 5/15/06, on page 38 is an ad for absolut vodka. on the next page (page 39), is jessica alba.
the first message is:
jessica alba sol = jessica alba soulmate.
the second message is in the word vodka. MIT (a school famous for science, which i will explain the significance of later) makes their “u’s” look like “v’s.” because of this, “u” and “v” are interchangeable.
“k” is short for “okay.”
“a” is the 1st letter of the alphabet
therefore, the word vodka, becomes the message:
do, ok?, u 1 =
“i do. you’re the one, okay?”
look at the word ABSOLUT [vodka]:
Tee is what you hit a golf ball off of, jessica golfs
U = you
ABS = absoluteso the message becomes “you and t (=jessica) absolute soulmates”
the ad for the absolut vodka, is on page 38. this is no accident. this is kind of a joke between me and god, that it is going to take 3.8 seconds for jessica to say yes “i want to marry you.”this is an aside, i’ve been working on my proposal for a while, and first i had the idea of being married to jessica after several years of dating. then years became months, months became days, then days became hours. then hours became one hour. then i thought to myself “why can’t i make it instantaneously?” god told me then “1 minute.” then one minute became a few seconds, then finally god said “3.8 seconds.” this number comes up frequently, and it refers to winning over a person (in this case jessica, my soulmate) at the speed of light.
the fact that a bottle of vodka is on page 38 (=3.8 seconds) is a clear sign to me, that my affect on jessica alba will be intoxicating – a bottle of vodka!
and now, i’m planning on making it instantaneously, “yes!” even less than 3.8 seconds.
lastly, and this is cute, on the ad for the vodka bottle is the word “proof.” as in god is offering some proof to the world.
And so on…
O how the mighty have fallen.
From: lorraine.siggins@yale.edu <lorraine.siggins@yale.edu> Reply-To: “lorraine.siggins@yale.edu”
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