“I needed a drink, I needed a lot of life insurance, I needed a vacation, I needed a home in the country.
What I had was a coat, a hat and a gun.”
Raymond Chandler
Daily Archives: January 3, 2007
whitest rap in history: death of a fruitcake, death by rap battle
Stolen from BoingBoing. This guy makes P-Unit look like G-Unit. How to destroy leftover fruitcake? Humiliate it in a rap battle, of course! But this site lists several ways to kill off the least-loved holiday gift, including exorcism, committee, slingshot, and pinata.
transcript over the jump Continue reading
Cobra Hunter: Toronto!
Riiiiiiiiiight, you’re thinking. But it’s true: Toronto, capital of Ontario and of banality, is host to a professional reptile hunter, and yet he hasn’t even touched the ones in Bay Street.
Let’s enter the squamous, deadly world of Josh Feltham, Canadian Cobra Hunter. Crikey, Steve Irwin would be so proud.
Aside from a few sightings more than three months ago, the deadly scaled fugitive has vanished without a trace.The hunt for the venomous snake has shut down the rooming house, sent its five tenants packing and left the landlord, Philip Belanger, $20,000 poorer from lost rent and damage. Belanger says he’s heard estimates that the City of Toronto has spent $100,000 in its bid to find the snake, calling in the police, fire department, paramedics and experts from the Toronto Zoo and Animal Services. The city will not confirm any figure.
“The thing about snakes is they’ve evolved to be elusive,” Josh Feltham, a reptile expert, says. “If I was that snake I’d be having a great time in that house. There’s food around. It can explore. What more do you need … A female maybe…”
Think like a snake; there’s your first step. Politicians and bankers looking for alternative career choices are perfectly adapted for this option, and we should all do our best to encourage them to become cobra hunters. Let’s start with Stephen Harper, shall we?
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Olbermann on Sacrifice in Iraq
Here is Keith Olbermann, in possibly his strongest Special Comment to date, confronting Bush’s rumoured and doomed about-to-be policy of escalation in Iraq. Olbermann says that America has sacrificed more than enough to Bush‘s policies, and now he’s asking it to sacrifice only for his ego. Definitely a no-holds-barred statement, and much food for thought.
Again, as always, the video and the transcript are from Crooks and Liars. I only post on YouTube so that I can put it in the blog, but they, and of course Olbermann, get all the credit. It’s incomplete right now; as soon as they’ve got the whole thing, I’ll post it. In any case, it works well enough as posted.
Transcript over the jump…
the fart tax
The inimitable Pierre Elliott Trudeau once said that the government has no place in the bedrooms of the nation. The prefab Tony Blair, however, thinks that where the government really belongs is up the rectums of cattle, and who among us would disagree?
Farmers will be told today they could be penalised if they do not stop their flatulent animals farting so much methane gas. The environment secretary, David Miliband, will tell a farming conference in Oxford that agriculture now contributes 7% of all UK greenhouse gas emissions and more than a third of all emissions of methane -one of the most dangerous greenhouse gases…
Tomorrow, I imagine cows all over Great Britain will be getting a stern talking to. Let’s hope they start with Margaret Thatcher.
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raincoaster 