How I love it when a loyal reader sends along a piece of web strangeness saying, “Saw this freakishness and thought of you.”
I feel speshul.
A certain horse blogger of heretofore normal inclinations has passed along the following sad and bizarre tale.
Remember when you were little, and you were asked what you wanted to grow up to be? Now, as a little girl I knew “cowboy” was off the table, but I saw no reason not to say “jillaroo” or, indeed, “astronaut.” “Firefighter” was for dumb lugs, sorry to my four cousins who became firefighters; I can only suggest they are playing against type.
Yes, didn’t we all want to be astronauts when we grew up? Everyone old enough to have seen the first Moon landing surely shares my one-time dream. But, as age and marks caught up with us, we realized we’d never have the PhD from MIT that seems to be the prerequisite, much less the Olympic medals, the Saudi princedom, or the College Republican presidency that are just the oak leaf clusters on the dingleberries of your application form.
We felt bad.
Ladies and gentlemen, allow us at the ol’ raincoaster blog to make your day. Allow us, in fact, to make up for decades of feelings of inadequacy. Your life may suck. Your job may involve the phrase “would you like fries with that?” Your love life may be as imaginary as your next vacation. Your socks could have holes, your dog could snap at you, and your shirt could well be tucked into your underwear at this very moment.
But you will never be the country-song-in-waiting that is the trainwreck which is this astronaut’s sorry-ass life.
A NASA astronaut faces her first appearance before a judge this morning after police say she attacked her rival for another astronaut’s attention at Orlando International Airport Monday.
Lisa Marie Nowak drove more than 12 hours from Texas to meet the 1 a.m. flight of a younger woman who had also been seeing the astronaut Nowak pined for, according to Orlando police. She is being held on no bond at Orange County Jail and has a court appearance at 9 a.m.
Nowak — who was a mission specialist on a Space Shuttle Discovery flight last summer — was wearing a trench coat and wig and had a knife, BB pistol, and latex gloves in her car, reports show. They also found diapers, which Nowak said she used so she wouldn’t have to stop on the 1,000-mile drive.
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My significant other works with kids and she’ll ask them what they want to be when they grow up.
My favorite answers are the kids who do inanimate objects.
“I want to be a boot!”
Wonder if her love interest found a boiled lab rat or space chimp in his fricasee pot . . .
That settles the debate on how intelligent you have to be to become astronaut.
Couldn’t have put it better myself.