Daily Archives: November 17, 2008

China’s Great Humanitarian Effort

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The suspect refuses to talk

At last, a xenophobic nation better known for adulterating its baby food with poisons, executing protesters, and replacing its adorable little singing girls with adorabler little lip-synching girls has passed a law that is truly a service to humanity.

They’ve outlawed mimes.

From the Guardian:

Singers who lip-synch or musicians who pretend to play their instruments twice or more in a two-year period, face having their business licences revoked.

Only professional performers will be covered, which will presumably mean the country’s most celebrated case of faking it – at the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics – would be exempt.

Nine-year-old Lin Miaoke was lauded around the world for her performance of Ode to the Motherland at the event. But it later emerged she was miming to a recording made by Yang Peiyi, aged seven . Officials replaced the younger girl because they judged Miaoke more photogenic.

This is progress indeed! Why, any day now they’re going to ban rat poison in restaurant meals! Or maybe just reporting on rat poison in restaurant meals.

Quiz: which board game are you?

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Fact is, I loathe bored games. I dropped an entire group of friends because the only time they get together is to play bored games, and if there’s one thing I detest it’s getting 20 minutes into a strategy in an unfamiliar situation when suddenly someone says, “Oh, did I forget to tell you? Clovers are trumps!” or whatever. Sure, most murders have alcohol as a motivating factor, but I’m inclined to believe that bored games are #2 and closing.

Nonetheless, this result does make sense. Just ask my boss:


You Are Boggle


You are an incredibly creative and resourceful person.

You’re able to dig deep and think outside the box to get things done.

You are a non linear thinker. You don’t like following directions

You draw your inspiration from the strangest places sometimes. You’re constantly inspired.