This was apparently filed over ten years ago, but you know how long these things take. The lawyers for the big guys always try to drag out lawsuits to bankrupt the little guy. Microsoft, the little guys. Wrap your head around that if you can.

And, no doubt, the Big Guys have tried and tried to drag it out and will continue to do so until Microsoft, crushed by the opposition's relentless attack, capitulates. The plaintiffs in this case have an additional advantage:

They are immortal.

To:  Microsoft Lawyers, Inc. 
From:  Azathoth, Nyarlathotep and Hastur, Elder Attorneys.

Sirs:

Our agents among the mortal herd have brought to Our attention your recent product entitled Windows '95.  Therefore We now give you statutory notice of intent of proceedings to be taken against Microsoft by the Many-Angled Ones.

With this suit We will show that Windows '95, and to a lesser extent all of the Microsoft range of products, infringe upon the recognised "look-and-feel" of the Elder Gods, for the following reasons:

o Windows '95 is a crawling abomination from the darkest pits of Hell;

o No man can be in it's presence for too long without being driven into gibbering insanity;

o A cult who worship it exist in secret amongst the mortal herd;

o Those who associate with it for too long develop common physical characteristics, to wit:  pale, clammy skin, bulging eyes, generally unkempt physical appearance, tendency towards nocturnal living, change in diet to that which normal men do not eat (in your case tacos, burgers and Jolt Coke; in Ours, human flesh, Fungi of Yuggoth and the blood of Alien Gods);

o Mysterious tomes that purport to explain this phenomenon are reputed to exist; they are bound in an unnatural substance and only available
at a terrible cost to the user.

o The Microsoft range of products seek to utterly dominate the world, and force all who dwell there to live in eternal damnation.

As you can see, Our case is very strong, especially when you consider that most judges prefer not to have chittering things with tentacles for faces scoop out their brains and eat them.

We hope that you will consider these points carefully and settle out of court, since it is not Our intention to have your senior partners spend
the rest of their mercifully short lives under heavy sedation in a maximum security psychiatric hospital.  After all, it was the Lords of the Outer Planes who gave humanity lawyers in the first place.

Respectfully yours,

pp.  J.  Arthur Hastur, LL.B., B.C.L, B.D

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From: surfbaud at NO-SPAM dot waverider dot co dot uk (Dave Hemming)
This is original from me. It was originally an answer I wrote for the Internet Oracle – I've reworked it as a standalone.