According to this National Geographic article, most Americans may be vaguely or acutely aware that illegal immigrants exist, but they have no fucking clue where these people are coming from.

Take Iraq, for example. Despite nearly constant news coverage since the war there began in 2003, 63 percent of Americans aged 18 to 24 failed to correctly locate the country on a map of the Middle East. Seventy percent could not find Iran or Israel.

Nine in ten couldn’t find Afghanistan on a map of Asia.

Who’s with me in thinking the remaining ten percent have served over there? I mean, I’m sure some of the soldiers come back, right? Alive?

Anyway, looking at it from a totally selfish perspective, it’s a good thing. Not only will it eventually bring to a halt American Imperialist expansion, once the (miniscule) current generation of geography-erati die out, but it also effectively prevents them from invading Alberta for oil or Vancouver for drugs. As Rick Mercer said, just take our name off the map index and they’ll NEVER FIND US!

Transcript of late-night phonecall to an anonymous geographer:

Yes, Mister President. No, no, I was awake anyway. What? Uh…yes sir. Yes sir. Ummmmmm…well maybe not, sir. No sir, I’m sorry but I can’t give you the coordinates. Yes sir, I’m aware that it’s rich in natural resources. Yes sir, I’m aware that the people there do not recognize Our Lord, Jesus Christ as the savior. Well sir, it’s just that Y’ha-nthlei is a fictional construct. Pretend, sir. It’s pretend.