Because if you work in a factory rather than an office, being known to sleep with the boss is a status enhancer. Or even the guy who delivers the diesel fuel, come to think of it.

But in the spirit of making ourselves of practical use here at the raincoaster blog, rather than just providing random titillation and eagle voyeurism, we present the New Zealand Herald's Ten rules to help you survive a sneaky affair at the office by Julie Fisher, about whom her coworkers are no doubt gossiping madly even as you read this.

Avoid the photocopier
Do not be tempted to do it on the photocopier. Not even in an ironic way. Canon last year confirmed that it has had to increase the thickness of its glass to cope with an alarming number of bottom-related breakages. A third of Canon technicians say they have had to mend machines that have been sat on. "It's so tempting, particularly if neither of you particularly likes the company you're working for," says Cox. "But not only will you probably break the thing, it's uncomfortable."

I once sat through a quarterly job evaluation that began when my boss brought up the topic of married men, and how normal it was that they had mistresses, and how glamorous that was for the "pampered, adored" mistress. There are times when you can't quite believe what you're hearing, and for raincoaster here this was one of those times. So she said, "well, I sure would make a crappy #2 girl," to which he replied, "Oh no, I think you would make an excellent #2."

Beat.

To which I replied, slowly, "I sure hope I'm going to get an 'Outstanding' on this review, Doug, because otherwise I'm going to go far and wide with my dissatisfaction with this rather unusual review."

Beat.

To which he replied, "Oh, I think you'll do very well for yourself at this company."

I got my Outstanding, too. And by god I earned it; the ability to blackmail a boss is a critical business skill in certain environments.