So this is our third celebrity campaign on the ol' raincoaster blog, and I have to say so far it's my favorite. Why? One word, my friends.
Greetings and Salutations Global Citizen!
For around twenty years now the fish faced shenanigans of the Mon Calamari known as Admiral Ackbar have been delighting we humans. Supposedly he was a great warrior and a mighty leader – that at least is what we are told in the Star Wars films. Yet his sole contribution to the almost disastrous attack on the second death star was to spin round in his chair,waving his flabby hands about, shrieking "It's a twap! It's a twap!". Anyone who witnessed the actions of Admiral Ackbar can be in no doubt – these were the actions of an idiot.Yet, contrary to popular belief, this idiocy was NOT a failing on the part of Ackbar. Nay. With his erratic arm movements and his absurd lisp, this Calamarian clown was actually attempting to boost the morale of the rebel troops – and just look at the results of Ackbar's watery wit. In one single day of sustained jestering, the Admiral managed to kill the emperor, destroy the evil empire and save Anakin Skywalker from the clutches of the dark side. Are these the actions of an idiot? We once thought that the power of the force lay with the jedi knights, but we can now see that it does not. The true power of the force lies with risible Vaudevillian comics like Admiral Ackbar.
VOTE ACKBAR
That is why we here at the UK offices of Finned Celebrities Co.(a subsidiary of Amphibious Actors(UK)Ltd.) believe that the comedic genius of Admiral Ackbar must be recognised now, and must be put to good use. Quite simply we demand he be made president of the entire world.
VOTE ACKBAR
Think of the rewards and opportunities that would arise for planet Earth if we had an oceanic bug-eyed clown ruling over us. Day to day problems like mass unemployment, a growing violent subculture, inadequate health care and the worst global economy this side of the Horse Head nebula would all fade into insignificance, for we would all be too busy laughing at the marine madness that is Ackbar.Just think – no more racial tension. All that xenophobia that seems inbred in we humans would be channelled into the ridiculing of the dome headed buffoon that would be leading our planet.
Global citizens unite – you know it makes (non)sense.
Manifesto
(Complete and unexpurgated)
1. More fish for everyone.
2. Plenty of squid for just about everybody.
3. Erm…
4. I think that just about covers everything.
raincoaster 
Plenty of squid for just about everybody? Is Ackbar offering up his fellow Mon Calamari citizens as appetizers? Because if there’s an accompanying lemon aioli with a smooth mint finish, I’m completely open to the idea.
We are as of one mind in this. And FYI any man known to have a keen appreciation of the joys of eating seafood is bound to be popular; you won't need a puppy!
Did you hear about the last UK census when there was a cult movement to have ‘Jedi’ recognised as a religion? The government dismissed it of course but officially as over 10,000 people wrote ‘Jedi’ it should now be an official religion. I’m still waiting with baited breath for the first Human Rights Act challenge on ‘jedi rights’
i.e. the right to consider the state the ‘evil galactic empire’ and start a rebel alliance against it.
And Australia somehow managed to pass and approve that law, so “jedi” is an official religion there. Meanwhile, pagans who serve in the US military and are buried in military cemetaries are not allowed to have pentagrams on their gravestones, even though those are important pagan symbols and paganism is an approved religion for serving military.