Here it comes.
What is it?
[the Giant Pacific Octopus]
Is it real?
[no, it is an early work by Ray Harryhausen, master model monster]
A Tidalwave of Terror Engulfs the Screen as the Raging Monster from the Dawn of Creation Attacks the World of Man.
[they just don't alliterate and hyperbolize like they used to – Michael Bay excepted]
IT CAME FROM BENEATH THE SEA!!!
The H-bomb Blasted It Loose from the Depths of the Pacific, But Not Even the H-bomb Can Kill It.
[because we have to work out our existential nuclear guilt somehow]
San Francisco Doomed!
[Save the Filmore!]
Golden Gate Bridge Uprooted!
[Tacoma Narrows 2.0!]
[Yeah, I'm thinking the time is right for a comeback for this flick]
Thousands Die in Streets!
West Coast Reels Under Holocaust as the Men and Weapons of the Atomic Age Battle to the Death Against the Ageless Monster of the Deep
[five bucks on the ageless monster of the deep]
WHAT CITY WILL BE NEXT?
[is this voting-enabled?]