There is a very obvious reason Fark dominates online news. Over CNN? Pfffffft yeah. Wolf vs Drew?
Check out a typical CNN headline vs a typical Fark headline. Fark simply employs (or, more likely, simply buys beer for) the best headline writers in the biz.
Fark:
CNN:
Uh, no actual comparative headline, because CNN doesn't cover stories like that. Sure. Although they do have a story about a malfunctioning penile implant. From my experience with penises, that would have to be WAY outtaline to be newsworthy.
Actually, my fave Fark headline is (and this has to be re-created from memory because I'm too lazy to look through the archives):
Woman arrested for sex with 14-year-old boy, with pic-MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
raincoaster 
You could say “Doctor–take me off these ones,” or perhaps:
“Okay, Raincoaster, I said it. Now can I please have my pants back?”