Twinkle, Twinkle, little bioengineered superweapon

Porcupine, Bitch!According to this report from ABC News and the BBC, the United Kingdom has perfected a radically new and different weapons system.

While both Canada and the US sat by, lulled into complacency by the sheer numbers of their old-skool artillery, the Brits have been bio-engeneering a groundbreaking (literally) new weapon, cleverly tucked away on an ostrich farm where nobody would think to look for it.

The Poisonous Porcupine.

People in north-west England are being warned not to approach a porcupine which burrowed out of a farm visitors centre and is now on the loose, BBC Online reports.

Twinkle, a 0.9 metre long female, escaped from her enclosure at Eden Ostrich World near Penrith on Saturday, prompting warnings because her detachable, poison-filled quills can become embedded in skin.

Jim Peet, from the centre, was quoted as saying that Twinkle was normally "cool" but was classed as a dangerous wild animal because of her spiky appearance.

"She could make a real mess of someone's garden and she should not be approached as her quills contain poison and she could become flustered if backed into a corner," he added.

Twinkle's disappearance came after some British newspapers said police had received reports of a tiger on the loose in Yorkshire, northern England.

Any bets on what kind of poison they're using? Ricin? Strychnine? Insulin megadose? I pick my fallback fave, sodium fluroacetate.

Just look in them beady little eyes; they may be the last thing you ever see, bitch.

Porkypine

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