According to this report from ABC News and the BBC, the United Kingdom has perfected a radically new and different weapons system.
While both Canada and the US sat by, lulled into complacency by the sheer numbers of their old-skool artillery, the Brits have been bio-engeneering a groundbreaking (literally) new weapon, cleverly tucked away on an ostrich farm where nobody would think to look for it.
The Poisonous Porcupine.
People in north-west England are being warned not to approach a porcupine which burrowed out of a farm visitors centre and is now on the loose, BBC Online reports.
Twinkle, a 0.9 metre long female, escaped from her enclosure at Eden Ostrich World near Penrith on Saturday, prompting warnings because her detachable, poison-filled quills can become embedded in skin.
Jim Peet, from the centre, was quoted as saying that Twinkle was normally "cool" but was classed as a dangerous wild animal because of her spiky appearance.
"She could make a real mess of someone's garden and she should not be approached as her quills contain poison and she could become flustered if backed into a corner," he added.
Twinkle's disappearance came after some British newspapers said police had received reports of a tiger on the loose in Yorkshire, northern England.
Any bets on what kind of poison they're using? Ricin? Strychnine? Insulin megadose? I pick my fallback fave, sodium fluroacetate.
Just look in them beady little eyes; they may be the last thing you ever see, bitch.

I touched an albino hedgehog yesterday. It was decidedly prickly. Not cuddly at all.
No wonder it was in a SPCA adoption display.
I’m not thrilled with hedgehogs, myself, but some people like them. To me, they look like guinea pig genetic experiments gone wrong.