war: a new vision

Tampon Warrior!Remember all those dopey hippie sayings like, “If war is the answer, what was the question” and “Make love, not war” and “what if they gave a war and nobody came?” Well those hippies are all growed up now and, thanks to the changes in draft eligibility, possibly on their way to Afghanistan or Iraq right now.

Critical ammunitions shortages have made the US uncharacteristically cautious about spending their precious ordnance, so we at the raincoaster blog have a suggestion. A radical suggestion. One which integrates the hippie Free Love aesthetic with the Imperialist invasive one. One which could change the very nature of war.

We suggest the deployment and use of the tampon gun.

From BoingBoing:

Tampon gun
TamponCrafts has published a HOWTO for building a paintball-style gun for firing tampons:

Inspired by marshmallow shooters, this air-powered tampon gun turns your feminine hygiene products into high-flying projectiles. Have a shootout between rival tampon brands, or use it as a fun alternative to paintball. The tampon shooter has a range of 10 to 20 feet depending on your ammo and lung capacity. The matching bandolier lets you carry a full “clip” (i.e., box) of 20 tampons, so you’ll never be caught short in the heat of battle.

Link

I defy any army to be able to continue fighting under a barrage of fluffy, white tampons. Although, given the dioxin component in the bleach used, it could well violate chemical weapons sanctions. Something to think about…

3 thoughts on “war: a new vision

  1. For shame.
    Don’t you know that the Tampon gun was banned by the Geneva Conventions?

    It certainly would add a new terror to warfare, though. Imagine if all our past conflicts had been settled with the TG …

    M*A*S*H would have been very different, that’s for sure. {Avoid thinking of OR dialogue here. Please.}

    And for gods’ sakes don’t tell ***. He’ll be searching for Weapons of Mass Menstruation here next.

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