A Hollywood producer of whom nobody outside the office ever heard has sent his movie’s star a “Dear Crack Ho” letter.
As always, The Smoking Gun is on the scene.
Dear Lindsay,
Since the commencement of principal photography of Georgia Rule, you have frequently failed to arrive on time to the set. Today, you did not show for work (all day). I am now told you don’t plan to come to work tomorrow because you are “not feeling well”. You and your representatives have told us that your various late arrivals and absences from the set have been the result of illness; today we were told it was “heat exhaustion”. We are well aware that your ongoing all night heavy partying is the real reason for your so called “exhaustion”. We refuse to accept bogus excuses for your behavior.
To date, your actions on Georgia Rule have been discourteous, irresponsible and unprofessional. You have acted like a spoiled child and in so doing have alienated many of your co-workers and endangered the quality of this picture. Moreover, your actions have resulted in hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage. We will not tolerate these actions any further.
If you do not honor your production commitments, including your scheduled call time for tomorrow, and any call times thereafter, we will hold you personally accountable. This means that in addition to pursuing full monetary damages, we will take such other action as we deem necessary to preserve the integrity of the Georgia Rule Production as well as Morgan Creek‘s financial interests. I urge you to take this letter seriously and conduct yourself professionally.
James G. Robinson
CEO, Morgan Creek ProductionsCC: T. Brenhan
B.Lourd
R. Levitt
J. Sloan
R. Levy
J. Weinberg
D. Lohan [notice they got Mom in the last line]
L. Zelnick
raincoaster 
Who are the five cute girls with the bong???
Uh, production staff? La Hohan is the blonde on the extreme right. Also the redhead lying on the Austin Powers Memorial Ottoman at the top of the post.
I’ve given up giving up blogging, it’s a choice between online chess (fed up of being beaten by the Russians) chatrooms (yawn) or blogging. I’ve got through the hard part of my CV (remembering the 19 crappy jobs I’ve had in the past 8 years, what they were all about and when I had them) and now it’s justa question of waiting a) until my mates get home from work b) until Thursday for the local jobs paper.
You could combine them by blogging about chess.
A blog shouldn’t take you more than two and a half hours to set up and maybe an hour per post. If that. So it’s not as huge an undertaking as I make it look; I’m a bit obssessive, but in a good way.
Can’t you get those email job alerts from Monster.com and suchlike? I get five a day from different aggregators: Simply Hired, Monster, Indeed.com, and HRDC, which is a Canadian government thing. Saves loads of time. Not that I have a job, but I saved loads of time.
For blogging
All these damn websites want you to register and apply online through them in my experience. Usernames, passwords, information overload etc.
Yep. The key is to have a password system. Say you go to Monster…make your password BoBoQMonster and when you go to Hired, make it BoBoQHired etc etc.
No guarantee people won’t hack it, but what the hell, are you really worried about people diverting your job alerts?
Then again, how badly do you want a job?
You obviously don’t know much about where I live, no job = no life = bored as hell = raid the cupboard with all the wine my parents get for Xmas but never drink = spend all my time drinking / sleeping / on the internet. I’m 26 and single a few miles down the road from Newcastle for pete’s sake, I wanna get some cash, go out and meet some nice Geordie girls!
Hey, I’ve seen depressing English movies, so I know all about that stuff.
Get job, get rich, pay taxes, become embittered by paying taxes, move to Spain, complain about the lack of Newcastle Brown.
Easy!
You don’t have to be rich to enjoy life raincoaster, I stopped drinking ‘toon broon’ when I was 17 anyway, I’ve given up my student lager lout days and am trying to become one of these sensible continental type red wine drinkers like our beloved government are telling us to be. As for spain, I could move there next week, get a job stinging naive tourists for a few thousand quid a time to join imaginary holiday clubs, but that aint me I might go do it one day for a few months ‘undercover’ and sell the story though.
Go to Korea and teach English for a couple of years. The money’s pretty damn good and then you have exotic stories to tell when you come back.
North or South??? You just reminded me, a nice lad from South Korea gave me his email address in London a few weeks back, I’ve got free accomodation should I go there. I also met a nice lad from Toronto in London, I should really email these people. No, Idon’t wanna meet a nice Korean girl, I wanna meet a nice geordie girl.
go to the one with the FREE ACCOMMODATION. Jeez, don’t they teach you anything in these schools?
I aint going to Korea, they just got a UN resolution on N Korea re: their nuclear program, what if they decide to kick off?
Dude, you GOT a nuclear program right where you live. At least Korea isn’t actually AT WAR.
And I meant SOUTH. If I were gonna send you into a danger zone, I’d find some way to make it Tony Blair’s fault, now wouldn’t I?
Yeah we got trident and I hope we replace it! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeha
Hey, they are lots of jobs in Iraq.
If you can speak American, that is.