It’s not every day a mild-mannered MidWesterner catches a six-foot Pacific Octopus in the Ohio River, but it was Monday. Via Sploid.

“I thought, ‘This guy’s got to be drunk,’ ” Putt said. But “we looked at it and that’s what it was.”

The octopus might take the prize for weird discoveries at the falls, where park crews and visitors have found crocodiles and piranha-like tropical fish over the years — animals probably kept as pets and released by owners into the river and onto river banks.

If the Calamari Wrestler ever finds out who killed his cousin, the slime will fly!

Here’s a handy-dandy map of Ohio, just so you can wrap your head around how very far our Octopoid masters have learned to portage: