Well, frankly, if I knew what I would get I might be up for this.

But really, the chance of ending up with a Jan Michael Vincent or a badly-aging Greg Evigan are just too high.

 So let’s go to the transcript:

from Craigslist:

HUGE star looking for homely companion – 45 I’m a HUGE blockbuster movie star.All I want is a homely woman that will beat and humiliate me.

I’m soooooo tired of perfect eager starlets. I want the REJECTED chunky girls. The wallflowers.

Former porn stars, strippers, and whores that nobody wants to touch are exactly what I’m looking for. Homeless single mother meth addicts are perfect.

Come and get it.

From Craigslist (via bitter PA?), via Defamer.

[Image note: We randomly picked George Clooney from the pool of actors born in 1961, but Michael J. Fox, Steven Weber, or any other of the names would’ve made fine black-bar models.]