Finally, someone on this planet takes responsibility for his actions. I’ve had enough with people taking refuge in “temporary insanity,” “I was drunk” and “it’s my cultural heritage” excuses. Somebody stepped up and took it like a man.

Too bad it’s a coldblooded, murderous fish. I may have to start dating outside my species but given my opinion of humanity it’s probably a step up. Popbitch’s tips on having sex with dolphins awaits in the Gmail archive…nah. Squid, different story.

LAist via, I think, Defamer.

After days of blaming everyone but himself, Wednesday morning the stingray responsible for the tragic death of the beloved tv personality Steve Irwin finally manned-up and apologized for killing Australia’s most lovable bloke.

“To be honest I thought he was just another asshole tourist trying to ride me. How was I supposed to know that he was the freaking Crocodile Hunter?” the stingray said through his publicist Jo Brooks.

…

“I know my life is over, they should just kill me now,” he said before breaking down. “Besides, how’s a brother supposed to get any tail without… a tail? Just finish me off and get it over with.”

The stingray has never had any run-ins with the law and is being represented by Johnnie Conchshell who guarantees to get his client off the hook.