“Nothing new there,” you’re thinking, rightly enough. Too right, mate.

But he was fondling it because he thought it was a lizard.

Oh, that’s different then.

A Sydney holidaymaker has received two doses of antivenom following five bites from the world’s second-most deadliest [sic] snake, an NRMA CareFlight spokesman says.

As Fark has the “Florida” tag, I’m thinking of starting an “Aussies playing with deadly wildlife” tag, for lo, we find we are making reference to such events with great regularity.

Now, it’s possible as Metro claims that the continent has been set up, PR-wise, and that people all around the world handle deadly creatures with just as much frequency, intimacy, and cluelessness, but the evidence is against it.

No, my theory is that we interact with wildlife in ways which eloquently, if inadvertently, express our national characters.

In Australia, they make a grab for it and try to become pals; any woman who’s met an Aussie in a bar will understand the scenario. 

In Germany, they issue execution orders. Any Jew…nah, I’ll leave that joke alone.

Here in Canada when we see wildlife we don’t mess around; we call the government. Anyone…seriously, anyone who’s been to Canada should recognize this as the default procedure, regardless of the circumstances.