Besides world domination, that is.
Just in time for the opening of shopping season, we at the ol’ raincoaster blog present a brief list of swag suitable for gifting to everybody’s favorite blog bitch. We have spared no effort in our gruelling research, trolling the blogroll yea, even unto Vicus Scurra, where we find naught but impractical suggestions for the unusual deployment of root vegetables. Oh, those crazy Brits and their anal turnip fetishes!
Is that why they’re called rutabagas?
In any case, here, as a result of simply hours trolling through BoingBoing, Go Fug Yourself, and Metro‘s emails, is our Christmas Wish List (to date, management reserves the right to add, say, a Tiffany Ribbon Bracelet or a Uranium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator at any later date).
- the Octodog Frankfurter Converter (an instant klassic!)
Fear Factor Gummy Octopus!
Super sweet, slimy, slurpy…Yum!
This super sweet slimy gummy octopus is swimming in sour ooze. The head of the octopus is lemon and the tentacles are blueberry.
You had me at “slimy.”- bust of Che Guevera as a stormtrooper
- a little something to keep me warm this winter
raincoaster 
As I mentioned elsewhere, the device you will be receiving from us is sesquipedalian, plastic, battery powered, and will bring you great joy.
Where did you mention that? Come to think of it, it does describe my last boyfriend fairly accurately.
It was either on a comment too long ago to find, or in one of the emails. No matter, wonder on. Just remember: do not open before Christmas–except a small hole at each end for food, water, and sanitary requirements. Remember to mark each hole so as not to confuse the two.
Re: the boyfriend. I should be surprised. Instead I’m slightly saddened. It’s no fun when someone steals your follow-up comment.