Parents are always complaining that there is nothing educational, life-affirming or decent in children’s television programming. Usually right before they fire up yet another round of Grand Theft Auto.

In any case, we here at the ol’ raincoaster blog beg to differ. There is, in fact, an excellent cartoon show which teaches kids the real life lessons that they will come to rely on as they learn to make their way in this crazy, mixed-up world we live in.

Lessons like “When adults hate their jobs they don’t quit. They just do them really, really half-assed.”

From West Egg via Fark:

Homer to Billy Corgan (of the Smashing Pumpkins): “Thanks to your gloomy, depressing music, my children no longer hope for the future I can not afford to give them.”
Corgan: “Yeah, we try to make a difference.”

Homer: The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let’s see. [enumerates them on his fingers] Don’t tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you’re sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do. What else…

Lisa: [sigh] I’ve got to stop being so petty. I should be Alison’s friend, not her competitor. I mean…she is a wonderful person…
Bart: Way to go, Lis. I mean, why compete with someone who’s just going to kick your butt anyway?
Lisa: [pause] I prefer my phrasing.

Homer: So, I realized that being with my family is more important than being cool.
Bart: Dad, what you just said was powerfully uncool.
Homer: You know what the song says: “It’s hip to be square”.
Lisa: That song is so lame.
Homer: So lame that it’s… cool?
Bart+Lisa: No.
Marge: Am I cool, kids?
Bart+Lisa: No.
Marge: Good. I’m glad. And that’s what makes me cool, not caring, right?
Bart+Lisa: No.
Marge: Well, how the hell do you be cool? I feel like we’ve tried everything here.
Homer: Wait, Marge. Maybe if you’re truly cool, you don’t need to be told you’re cool.
Bart: Well, sure you do.
Lisa: How else would you know?