Keith Richards: oh no he DIDN’T!

Keith Richards was pretty...forty years ago 

No, really, he didn’t.

Despite remarks made in an interview with NME, Keith Richards did not mix his father’s cremated remains with coke and snort it.

So that is one thing on Earth that Keith Richards hasn’t tried. The clock is ticking, though, and besides, if I had those two unnaturally scrawny brats of his I wouldn’t want to give them any ideas.

The Keef is immortal!

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10 thoughts on “Keith Richards: oh no he DIDN’T!

  1. Now this one IS supposed to have happened:

    Burglars in Essex, UK, thought they had hit the jackpot when they saw a pale coloured powder marked “Charlie” in a pot on the mantelpiece. But they were unaware the pot was an urn and the ‘coke’ was really the remains of a beloved Newfoundland dog named Charlie who died in 1997.

    A police constable called to break-in said that the intruders had arranged the ashes in cocaine-style lines.

  2. Oh wait — now wait a minute — he did NOT snort his father up like fine Colombian? Hmm. I’m seriously disappointed. Couldn’t he have lied and kept the myth going?

    Honest to God, he is like a ugly little cockroach that perserveres through the ravishes of time.

  3. Steal the chart if you please; I gather there’s an entire website devoted to estimating the life spans of celebrities.

    I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that he used to be that sweet-looking. I mean, he was Monkees quality cute. This is your face on drugs…

    Also, I wonder what kind of a high you get from Newfies?

  4. I used to have my father’s ashes; no way is it white enough to pass for coke, not even if they were using flashlights whose batteries were running out. Besides, there’s bone chunks in there, how do you explain those? Crack rocks?

  5. My friends in Vancouver use Tide: they say it’s nicely hallucinogenic. As far as I’m concerned, it’s yet more proof of brain damage. “Gets my whites whiter and my highs higher” eh?

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