tombstoning with style

Now this, ladies and gentlemen, is how not to tombstone:

A 25-year-old holidaymaker faces being permanently disabled after a “tombstoning” accident.

Police said the man from Sheffield sustained a “life changing injury” when he jumped into the water of the Isles of Scilly, 28 miles west of Land’s End…

The accident on Friday is the latest casualty resulting from “tombstoning” – jumping off cliffs, piers, harbour walls or other high points into water.

Across the country the activity causes about 200 serious injuries a year and claims about 15 lives.

And here is the late, great Merv Griffin to show us all how to do it right:

Merv Griffin’s Tombstone

“When Eva Gabor was still alive, she’d get up early at the ranch, and when I’d get up an hour later, I’d walk down to the stable, and every horse in the pasture would have red lipstick on it.”
Merv Griffin

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32 thoughts on “tombstoning with style

  1. That is brilliant…definitely what I would expect from merv.

    There was a story in the last Atlantic “Fiction” issue about some Mormon missionaries indulging in a bit of nude tombstoning…don’t remember the name of it, but they were using it as a proselytizing tool, if you can believe that.

  2. I’ve jumped off 100 foot cliffs into an old quarry filled with water. Not the smartest thing I’ve ever done. I blame the skunky green stuff I inhaled just before doing it. I accept no personal responsibility for my actions of course.

    Merv was the man. He owned race horses, you know. Had some pretty good ones.

  3. I was wondering what kind of horses he owned. He did have Arabians, too, I thought. All the showbiz people do: did you know Wayne Newton was charged with feeding his Arabians arsenic, to put a shine on their coats? I bet he did it, too. Those Arabian breeders are crazy. Poor horses.

  4. Indeed. I’m not even able to bet on Arabians here in PA – the state considers it illegal. I rank that right up there with Sulz revalation about oral sex in Malaysia.

    Arsenic…..that’s intersting. One of the best horses that ever lived that many people have never heard of was an amazing horse named Pharlap that tore it up in New Zealand and is suspected of having been poisoned with Arsenic by mob connections just prior to his U.S. debut.

  5. Kelso? Ashton Kutcher on “That 70’s Show?” :)

    Yeah, Kelso was a beast. They’ve got a Stakes race named after him now.

    By the way, I shamelessly nominated myself for every blogger’s choice award I could think of (4 of ’em). Posted the badges on my site. It’s operation horse domination time! :)

  6. Good luck. I tried for a few awards last year, but only one one where the prize was admission to the awards dinner. Airfare, hotel, and the dinner itself were extra. Fark that!

  7. Indeed….much like Captain James T. Kirk, I’m a total sucker for a woman with green skin. You can make love to them all night long, and then afterwards get stoned to the bejesus from them. :)

  8. Ah….that’s why I always went commando to my frat parties. Never wanted to the dreaded “skanky green panties” – Although I do recall my fare share of skanks with green panties. Some of them even smelled skunky and funky.

  9. As always, the raincoaster blog is a fount of useful information.

    What’s worse: waking up with green-stained panties or waking up with unidentifiable panties when you went commando?

  10. No, it’s the skin contact with unknown panties that skeeves more, to me. If I see panties on my floor that are moving on their own, I just hit them with a tennis racquet until they stop. Then leave them there until you move. Simple.

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