Octopus Sex Man Gets Off

How’s THAT for a title?

Yes, Rodney Scott McLagan of Hobart, Australia, hereinafter and for the rest of his natural life at the very least known as Octopus Sex Man, has been released from custody with a $1500 fine and a suspended four-month sentence for possessing 31,000 images of pony, snake, dog, tiger and octopus porn.

Said the judge:

“Without the opportunity for normal sexual relationships fantasy is often indulged. It also emerges from the report that you are particularly self-conscious about your teeth.”

It is reportedly the first case of British teeth being responsible for a shokushu goukan fetish. Still, better that than throwing him back to try to swim in the human gene pool; It’s polluted enough in those waters. The Zeta Male is (surprisingly, given his usual body composition) the very opposite of buoyant.

I suppose that’s why he likes the bottom-feeding octopus.

The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife

The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife

24 thoughts on “Octopus Sex Man Gets Off

  1. I beg your indulgence oh blogmeister: er… I know that sexual images of children is completely wrong and the man should be castrated forthwith but as for the octopus.. am I to understand from the comic strip that all these animals are delicto inflagrate with a woman? (whatever that means, I’m sure Metro will tell us)

  2. I do not actually know what kind of sex the octopi in the images were having. And I gather from the reports that the man had no sexual interest in children; he only saw those images while he was actually looking for some beasty porn.

    That image is “The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife” by Warren Holder, which is based on the classic 1814 Shunga print The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife by Hokusai, which I dare not post because it’s too explicit and could get my blog deep-sixed.

  3. If the Octopus above the age of majority consents, has a crime truly been committed? Personally, I wear a wetsuit so that the paparazzi will never catch me in a compromising position with a sea creature…

  4. Well, at least you’ll surf safe.

    If you ever get a chance to get intimate with some of the current crop of celebrities, I suggest you keep a Hazmat suit handy.

  5. I don’t understand why he would be in trouble for having pictures of animal sex. Of the kids, yes, but of the other stuff? He’s being listed as a sex offender. Is he really that dangerous to anybody? He looks at pictures of octopus sex and that makes him dangerous. Crime must be slow in his neighborhood. Octopus parents better keep their octopus babies close, eh?

    He actually found a picture of octopus having sex? I’ve never seen such a thing; now I know not to look at it if I run into a photo! :lol:

  6. Yes, I saw that. I think he was just counting on the weight. You set the thing going and you go for it. Takes a few minutes to bleed out, but only about thirty seconds for the brain to shut down, so the speed of one’s death really depends on which side of the neck you choose to cut first.

    Ah, the benefits of having a mother in Medical Records.

  7. I think I have been online way too long. Tentacle porn doesn’t even make me bat an eyelash anymore.

    (… and thanks, I had wondered what had happened to Ghastly… it’s been a while since I hung out in Wil Wheaton’s forums… ;) )

  8. Pingback: Dude, we tried to tell you! « raincoaster

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.