A Christmas classic which gets heavy airplay around the ol’ raincoaster blog is that beloved oldie, Christmas on Acid by the Vestibules. Not only is the tune catchy and the lyrics accurate (um, from what I hear) but the video is a winter wonderland of the wonky and weird. But don’t take my word for it: check it out for yourself:
You can find the lyrics here.
Indeed, as I said in my old post, the only thing it’s missing is an outtake from Davey & Goliath, and has been reposted here by request (if “Why in God’s name haven’t you re-posted Christmas on Acid yet this year” is a request rather than an admonishment).
And now, may we present for the first time on this website, an authentic, original tale of Christmas Eve on Acid or At Least Giving Every Appearance of Being Under The Influence of Something Hallucinogenicish?
Well, it was the Drive. For those of you who don’t know, the Drive is Commerical Drive, or rather a section of it extending from about Venables to maybe 2nd or at a stretch Broadway, although that really IS stretching it. It has many nifty shops for artsies and hippies old and new, particularly those with a fondness for plants and produce. And yeah, they’re big on altered states there, whether you alter your consciousness by reading Sartre or by ingesting something.
The audACIDy of Dope
So my conclusion that the young man in the following story may have been under the influence of influencers is not without foundation, however shaky, particularly after the fifth eggnog. NEVER let your foundation get into the eggnog ahead of you, or you don’t know where you’ll end up.
Where he and his overcoated companion ended up one snowy Christmas Eve was directly in front of a butcher store window.
Now, the Drive, I should explain, is the old Italian part of town, or used to be before the dirty hippies moved in. Now it’s full of old, stubborn Italians (do I repeat myself?) and dirty old hippies, dirty young hippies and a fair sprinkling of hipsters, who have begun going over the wall of their reservation along Main and infecting the rest of the city, wherever they can buy clove cigarettes and ironic tees.
Now these two? They were none of the above. One was a sturdy-looking, dark-haired (and possibly Italianate) twentysomething in, as explained above, an overcoat. A really quite snazzy overcoat of camel, though that’s probably just a euphemism for beige, as camels are not known for cold resistance now that I think of it.
The other, our befuddled protagonist, was equally twentysomething, and clad equally in an overcoat, although this was of the navy rather than camel persuasion and now that I think of it, it probably contained no fibres that had ever served in a military capacity at all.
And he was freaked out. Deeply, deeply freaked out. Like, screaming in the street, grabbing his head and running in circles Freaked The Fuck Right Out.
He’d probably have been running in a straight line, away from The Drive and back to Kerrisdale or the West End or whatever strange land from whence he came, but Camel Coat had a hold of his naval elbow and wasn’t letting go, cooing, “it’s okay, it’s okay, it can’t hurt you,” and causing his friend to zoom around in circles like a Jack Russell on speed.
And what Merry Christmas sight had caused a hitherto passing for sober young man to lose it right there on the Drive on a snowy Christmas Eve? Only a simple, homey, Old World holiday tradition, sitting right there in the window of the old-timey Italian butcher shop. Just this: click on if you DARE!
I’m just not seeing the problem here.
Merry Christmas on Acid!
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Thereby confirming everything I’ve always said about clickthrough rates.
Huh. Maybe it’s a penchant of us swarthy-skinned:
As a teenager I worked in a Latino grocery store, and the butchers thought nothing of carrying entire skinned carcasses of lambs or goats through the front door right on back to the meat locker at the rear. *shrug* No biggie. We’d be up there bagging groceries as the customers commented on the freshness of the meat.
I live in Chinatown, and it’s not unusual to see whole pigs flopping on and off pallets as they’re delivered to the butcher. But it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and the skinned sheep’s heads are considered “Decoration” at the European butcher shops at Christmas time. I cannot even IMAGINE what that means theologically, what with the Lamb of God and all.
Christmas sheep heads! Please please tell me they light up!
Sadly, no. But they DO have the eyeballs in; that totally makes the look. I suppose you COULD put a high-powered lightbulb in the hollow of the skull and have beams of light shoot out the eye sockets and nostrils. That would be cool. Although anyone seeing them in circumstances like the above might be driven right round the bend permanently.
found you from the forum, and here i discover you’re a local boy! what are the odds :)
Well, your odds are 50/50. Because I’m a local, but not a Boy.