Canada Day Eh. Now worth more than America Day.

Take that, bitchez!

While my cousins drive down to Fort Windsor and check to see that the cannons are still working, I’ll be heading up to the DEW Line to make sure no wiseass loonbat troublemaker is coming over the border from Alaska to get their greedy, Republican mitts on any of our delicious, free healthcare.

Play them off, William! Fucking! Shatner! Who better to update that hoary old classic than this h – you know what? Forget I said that. Enjoy your refreshed national anthem, Canuckistan!

William Shatner’s Oh Canada (via Neatorama)

Oh Canada,  our home and native land
ON native land
true patriot love
of same sex partnership
in all our sons’ command
and our daughters’
with glowing hearts
like ET
we see thee rise
the true north, strong and free
free healthcare … all this is … NEW!
from far and wide
redundant
Oh Canada
BIG SMILE
we stand on guard for thee
God keep our land
all gods or, or, or no god
glorious and free
free of smog
Oh Canada we stand on guard
for
thee.

Oh Canada we stand on guard
guard yourself from frostbite
for th-
it’s all … I don’t even know what we’re doing here
thee.

Canada, it’s an honour. You’re fabulous.