While my cousins drive down to Fort Windsor and check to see that the cannons are still working, I’ll be heading up to the DEW Line to make sure no wiseass loonbat troublemaker is coming over the border from Alaska to get their greedy, Republican mitts on any of our delicious, free healthcare.
Play them off, William! Fucking! Shatner!Who better to update that hoary old classic than this h – you know what? Forget I said that. Enjoy your refreshed national anthem, Canuckistan!
Oh Canada, our home and native land
ON native land true patriot love
of same sex partnership in all our sons’ command
and our daughters’ with glowing hearts
like ET we see thee rise the true north, strong and free
free healthcare … all this is … NEW! from far and wide
redundant Oh Canada
BIG SMILE we stand on guard for thee God keep our land
all gods or, or, or no god glorious and free
free of smog Oh Canada we stand on guard for thee.
Oh Canada we stand on guard
guard yourself from frostbite for th-
it’s all … I don’t even know what we’re doing here thee.
Let’s face it: there’s just no point in watching any kind of television but late night. It’s more of a soap opera, more of a drama, more of a mind-blower. And here’s the latest mind-boggling video sensation: Lin Yu Chun, the Taiwanese Susan Boyle and The Shat, together performing the greatest ballad in the history of recorded music.
We here at the ol’ raincoaster blog are, of course, well known as arbiters of taste and it needn’t be said that we are, of course, and always have been, all over this pinnacle of musicality, this greatest test of a vocal performer. And we are and always have been all over The Shat (at least since the restraining order expired).
I don’t know about you, but I could use a good unicorn chaser after that last post. What about some nice pastrami and a side of Michael Caine‘s mojo?
Or maybe you believe in the power of Boombox?
Well, I’m not sure that one will work; youtube’s farked up their layout so much I’m no longer able to tell if a video is embeddable or not. If it’s not, well, that’ll only depress me more. Gee, thanks Samberg.