Palin Poetry

No, that’s not a misspelling of some random Bjork tune; it’s what the incoherent, rambling speech of Sarah Palin turned into once the immortal William Shatner got his paws on it. Behold:

From the full, delicious, transcript:

And getting up here I say it is the best road trip in America soaring through nature’s finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it’s the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn’t it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs? And then in the summertime such extreme summertime about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than just some months ago, than just some months from now, with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here, Mother Nature wins. It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life teeming along the road that is north to the future. That is what we get to see every day. Now what the rest of America gets to see along with us is in this last frontier there is hope and opportunity and there is country pride.

And, topical as always, Vanity Fair has already published Palin’s notes for the historic speech.

Palin says Buh Bye

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MC Shat Attack!

You knew William Shatner was a living god.

Sure you did. You read my last post, didn’t you?

But did you know that William Shatner was a rapaciously raptastic rapscallion who can bring out da funk even in someone as WASPy as Conan O’Brian?

Well, now you do.

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The Secret of Shatner

Longtime readers of the ol’ raincoaster blog, plus all Canadians ever born or made, have long been familiar with the singularly sexy superstar of supernatural superlativenosity known as The Shat. To all others, we say, worry not, o obliviousnosceni, we feel for you. What do we feel for you?

Pity, that’s what.

Ah pity da man who don’t know William Shatner! The patriot, the thinker, the lover, the balladeer, the slasher, the rapper, the cunning linguist, the legend.

The masticator:

Oh, you can HAVE your Paris‘s. You can HAVE your Padma‘s. You can HAVE (for about twenty-five bucks, if I hear rightly) your Audrina’s. But none of them will ever approach the irresistable erotic intensity of this pudding performance of the Shat..

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Scotty is Lost In Space!

Actually, no. It’s worse:

Scotty is slowly sinking to the bottom of the South Pacific in a fine grey cloud of ash.

My God, It's Full of Stars!

My God, It's Full of Stars!

Dignified and strange, in its own way, and somehow an almost-adequate substitute for the original plan, which was for the cremains of James Doohan, proud Vancouverite, former Canadian war hero, and the actor who played Montgomery Scott, Chief Engineer of the USS Enterprise NCC-1701, to be shot into space in a private SpaceX spacecraft. Goddam dilithium crystals!

The Falcon 1 owned by Musk’s private space exploration company, SpaceX, left the ground and stayed off it for 2 minutes and 20 seconds before second- and third-stage rockets failed to ignite. The whole thing, including Scotty’s ashes, plunged back to earth.

Well, back to the Pacific Ocean anyway. But nothing, particularly not the fate of a legend, is simple, and it seems there had already been a couple of false starts and a frantic search leading up to the ultimate un-ternment. For a man who claimed (falsely, but amusingly) that he was kicked out of the Canadian Air Force for slaloming his plane between hydro poles on a bet, the rolling swells of the unfettered tropical ocean are indeed the Final Frontier.

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Star Trek: O-Faces

SWF, at least technically, so don’t go reporting me to WordPress as a Mature blog; staff knows that the LAST thing I am is “mature.”

This charming video is neither more nor less than just what I said it was: a video roundup of (nouveau, NextGen, alas) Star Trek O-faces, including the funniest money shot in the history of television.

Stolen from Fleshbot (NSFW) via io9

Bonus: Warriors of the Web (Klingon pornstars) via Wired

and

Closer, the Nine Inch Nails Kirk/Spock slash music video!

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