and now, for a musical interlude…
Which reminds me of the time I lived in a basement apartment, underneath the living room of a woman who was practicing hard for the extremely, extremely, Southern girls you’re not even in it; you don’t have Tiger Mothers, EXTREMELY competitive Miss Chinatown contest.
Every night, she would play the piano; just one piece, over and over, loudly, with an oompah beat and great gusts of ambition, although apparently no past history of experience with the instrument. She practiced this bouncy Germanic tune nightly for about six weeks before my roommate looked up from her book, turned to me with tragic spaniel eyes, and said, “It’s the Moonlight Sonata.”
And so it was.
As if that weren’t soul-killing enough, here are your celebrity gossip links for the day:
The Importance of Being Guido: in which transcripts from the Jersey Shore are read in the style of Oscar Wilde(raincoaster)
Rihanna’s Waking Nightmare looks strangely like most of mine, actually (Ayyyy)
Bagel BBQ FTW! (ManoloFood)
That Kardashian Style! On display at closing time in bars everywhere (Lolebrity)
Worst TV Show Openings; why do I just know there will be a lot of 80′s in there? (Crasstalk)
Ben Affleck, ironic hairpiece wearer (BusyBeeBlogger)
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake stays Brooooooooooooooooooooke! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Mariah Carey is sefectly pober! (CelebritySmack)
Smoker Katy Perry, on addiction (CelebVIPLounge)
Those British coroners can make a mystery out of ANYTHING, can’t they? (DailyStab)
Lindsay Lohan, too, is serfectl – LISTEN PEOPLE IT’S SPELLED “Ketel One” AND IF I SEE ANOTHER “Kettle” I AM GOING TO COME OVER THERE AND GIVE YOU ONE OR TWO LUMPS WHERE IT’LL DO THE MOST GOOD OKAY????(EarSucker)
Harrison Ford is a GILF (FitFabCeleb)
6 celebrity pizzafaces (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Mister President, I am here to serve. That’s why I brought these kneepads (HaveUHeard)
RIP Amy Winehouse: no, Blaaaaake is not invited to the funeral (HollywoodHiccups)
Prince Hot Ginge at the races; Ladies, start your engines! (INeedMyFix)
Linnocent can’t afford therapy, because Saint Tropez is expensive, dammit! (PopBytes)
Bloggers take note: Alan Rickman appreciation=automatic inclusion in the links. Got it? (SwoonWorthy)
Annalynne McCord could use a good seamstress (TheSkinny)
Jay-Z and Kanye want you to watch them on the throne? (TheSkinnyChic)
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Okay, this had me guffawing (which I do from time to time, most unladylike, I’m sure):
She practiced this bouncy Germanic tune nightly for about six weeks before my roommate looked up from her book, turned to me with tragic spaniel eyes, and said, “It’s the Moonlight Sonata.”
Just too wonderful. I was once on hold with the D.C. gov’t (local) for an hour and a half listening to the same 20 seconds of Für Elise over and over again. It was a Clockwork Orange day.
Oh man, it seriously is. What did Beethoven do to deserve it?
Speaking of which, if you want to reaffirm your belief in Beethoven’s awesomeness, check this video out.
“The man got down on his knees for . . . music.”
Cool video, genius itself. Thanks for introducing me to this guy!
Shane is the shizznit. He’s from Vancouver, and he’s the poet who did that amazing spoken word piece at the Olympics. He’s beaten the Americans at the Grand Slam of poetry in Chicago, and I think he’s the only person ever to do so.
The very first picture I took on a cellphone camera was of the Aritzia store, that had a display of his poetry in the window. A fashion store with a poetry display. It was pretty awesome: Sean Cranbury from http://booksontheradio.ca did that promotion.
I have a friend who does a lot of slam poetry; I’m going to forward the link to the video to her.
His rhythm & emphasis are really wonderful. I can see how he won.
He has a piece on proofreading that is the FILTHIEST, funniest thing you ever heard. And another amazing, epic piece, about meeting a chef in a bar at 11am; the chef worked at the local prison and had just prepared the last meal for the guy who’d killed his (the chef’s) brother. That one’s not on YouTube yet, but it’s mind-blowing.
I invited him to teach at the Surrey International Writers’ Festival and guess what? Six people showed up. I think I was a little ahead of my time there.
They really missed out, then — I would have jumped at the chance to attend a workshop or something by him.