Julian Assange: shocking suppressed interview!

julian assange needs his personal space. About nine inches of it in fact

Julian Assange needs his personal space. About nine inches of it in fact

While there is no shortage of Assangeology on teh interwebs, this particular interview has never surfaced in the mainstream media: why would that be? Willful suppression? Court order? Self-censorship among a craven, and job-insecure group of journalistic jackals each and every one of which would tear his own grandmother’s living eyeballs out of her skull for the chance at an internship at the Grauniad?

or all of the above?

We at the ol’ raincoaster blog (four million hits! FOUR MILLION HITS! Operation Global Media Domination accepts worldwide accolades; now shut up and buy me some Champagne!) have long had an interest in Assangeology and honest reporting, and it is in furtherance of these twin goals that we present the following, excerpted from that respected media outlet, TheWashingtonFancy:

NYTimes: Why couldn’t you just let real journalists handle these leaks?

Assange: That’s a great question. Why don’t you ask all the whistleblowers.

Heather Brooks: Let’s cut to the chase, sir. Why is your hair gray? There’s been conflicting reports; one claims that it went gray after a sustained custody battle against your ex-wife and the system, while the other maintains that you had a childhood accident with a cathode-ray tube that gave you superpowers. Which is it?

Smirk Julian Smirk

That's not what the photog meant by "show us what you got"

Would you buy this edition of Playgirl?

  • Yes
  • No

View Results

Assange: The tube thing. Definitely.

Heather Brooks: You know I still find you incredibly sexy.

Assange: I know, Miss Brooke. Please let go of my leg.

Guardian: What about the rumor that you’ve agreed to pose naked for Playgirl? Is this true?

Assange: What? Ridiculous. Absolutely not.

Guardian: But you agree that there exists such a thing as Playgirl Magazine? Yes or no?

Assange: Yes.

Guardian: Aha!

Now, do we have any faithful, leaky readers on staff at THAT prestigious publication?

No reason I ask.

Julian Assange is no poodle, teacup or otherwise


11 thoughts on “Julian Assange: shocking suppressed interview!

  1. Pingback: Afternoon Links: Lindsay Lohan Throws a Drink at Photographer

  2. Ha! I stole it from Austin Powers, meself.

    PS: Have had to lay off the Assange blogging recently, since I saw someone from Wikileaks had been reading my site. And I interviewed his mother for the DailyDot.com, and didn’t want her getting the impression I’m a scary fangirl type.

    Even though I AM!

  3. I wonder exactly when a person passes into scary fan stage…

    I am fairly disconnected from it all, everything I know about Wikileaks I know from your page. I know when I read your posts I need to have wikipedia on hand…it is a whole new world.

  4. Well, I am hip, but I’m shockingly old too. It’s routine for me to check the forum and see somebody whining about being “too old for this” and they turn out to be my age or younger.

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