Potter must die!!!

Just ask JK Rowling.

“One character got a reprieve, but I have to say Snape strikes!two die that I did not intend to die.”

“They don’t target extras do they? They go for the main characters. Well I do.” In a phrase sure to be closely analysed by the legions of visitors to Harry Potter fansites that deconstruct the author’s every word, she said she empathised with Agatha Christie, who killed off her detective Hercule Poirot so that other writers would not be able to continue his stories after her death.

“I’ve never been tempted to kill him [Harry] off before the end of book seven, because I always planned seven books and that’s where I want to go,” she said.

“I can completely understand, however, the mentality of an author who thinks ‘Well, I’m going to kill them off because that means there can be no non-author-written sequels … so it will end with me, and after I’m dead and gone they won’t be able to bring back the character‘.”

The Guardian has got themselves quite a scoop with that one. Legions of Hermiowanabees will be crying into their butterbeer tonight.

And a few Rons and Dracos as well.

Snape is not amused

the T-Factor: the Grandfather edition

I don't really think you can do better than the Sploid headline:

Crazy grandad throws girl to elksDamn Tourists

A maniacal grandpa determined to capture a magic moment on film tossed his granddaughter into a herd of elk and then attacked onlookers who tried to save the little girl…

As witnesses watched in horror, one of the massive beasts reared up on its hind legs. The little girl started sobbing, tears of fright running down her cheeks…

Wellsted faces two counts of child abuse as well as charges of third-degree assault and second-degree assault on a police officer.

One worries about the little girl, more because of the eventual fate dictated by her shallow gene pool than for the trauma of the incident. No money for guessing it'll be elk and not deer in the remake of Deliverance.

Elk vs car

Overheard in Chinatown

A four-year-old girl trying to teach her very Cantonese grandmother some crucial English phrases. There's nothing quite so Vancouver as the following exchange:

Toddler: "Okay Grandma, say this."

Grandmother, hesitantly: "O-kay" 

Toddler: "I need a coffee!"

Grandmother: "I nee a coffee!"

Toddler: "I seriously need a coffee!"

Grandmother: "I seri-uly nee a coffee!"

That kid knows this city like the back of her hand. Fuck "Call the police" or "Where is the ladies' room," she's got her Vancouver priorities straight. 

r-e-s-p-e-c-t: the Chinese Aretha of Canal Street

From Overheard in New York, via Gawker:

No, Seriously — Let's Hit It

Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me.
Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me!
Gangsta: Man, what are you excusing me about? Fuck you!
Old Chinese lady: Fuck me? Ok, take-a off the pant.

Stairway in silence.

Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me!
Gangsta: Sure thing, ma'am. I'm sorry.
Chinese kid: And that's why we respect our elders.

–Canal St station

Swedish Chef vs Lobsters

Yep, the smart money is always on the one that gets the Squid tag. But I didn't know they had lobsters in Mexico: live and learn.