Category Archives: music

Saturday Night, and the House is Rocking!

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The girl singer experiment was not deemed a success, and was not repeated

The Bay City Rollers decided the girl singer experiment was not a success, and was not repeated

Or is that “The Home”?

You may not think you want to click that, but you really, really do, and then you want to look at the audience. When did the Bay City Rollers ever play Victoria, the burb known as “God’s Waiting Room”?

This Bay City Rollers fan was the inspiration for "Pretty Woman." Bach's "Pretty Woman."

This Bay City Rollers fan was the inspiration for "Pretty Woman." Bachs "Pretty Woman."

Also, Ann-Margret, you’re darling, but you cannot sing. Please, please stop trying.

Bay City Rollers are rocking the rocker look insofar as it applies to the Scots anyway

Bay City Rollers are rocking the rocker look insofar as it applies to the Scots anyway

Also also, isn’t it time the hipsters revived the plaid-trimmed culottes look? Seriously, let’s make this happen.

To other people.

Speaking of celebrities and other people, here are your Monday gossip links from around the web. Click over the jump for all the juicy linkness.

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The Greatest Musical Performance of All Time and Space, in Any Universe, Anywhere

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I think I have that outfit at home, actually

I think I have that outfit at home, actually

Pretty much. Oh, you have your Rebecca Blacks. You have your Posh Spices. But you could have a whole Spice Rack of untalented songbirds, put them all together, and they still wouldn’t sound anywhere near as bad as this:

That is the immortal Jonathan Edwards on piano, accompanying his showstopper of a vocalizing wife, Darlene, performing the Bee Gee’s greatest tune, Stayin’ Alive. That’s “vocalizing” like Siamese cats vocalize when you slam their tales in car doors. And you have Bunk Strutts to thank for the fact that I have a new favorite musical act.

 

Jonathan and Darlene Edwards, explained. Sorta
Jonathan and Darlene Edwards, explained. Sorta

Jonathan and Darlene Edwards will always work. Some people have no tolerance for failed art. It just gives them goosebumps. The enlightened mind, however, has boundless appreciation for an artist putting him/herself out there and failing spectacularly. Even though the Edwardses (real names: were Jo Stafford and Paul Weston) were perfectly functional pro musicians (he pianoed while she sang), they are remembered now for acting clueless. The tragedy of artistic failure is deeply funny to me – even when faked – and it takes an artist of great courage to pretend they are completely inept. Apart from music like this, such failure can be found in Mystery Science Theater and various portfolio submissions from job applicants, but for differing reasons.

Jonathan and Darlene were truly underappreciated in their own time, despite a grammy win in 1960, but enjoyed a late renaissance in the Seventies with the release of this epic effort, along with the very of-its-time “I Am Woman.”

And you thought everyone hated MONDAY!

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Emo News Network Presents!

Emo News Network Presents!

Yes, it’s that very special time on the blog: the time when we dump all our celebrity links for the day because we are too lazy/stressed/drunk/busy to do a real, proper 250 words for you. So hold your nose and swallow like a good little media consumer! YAY CELEBUTARDS!

Speaking of which, here’s an adorkable little video of children reacting to Rebecca Black‘s immortal musical meisterwerk, Friday.

via Gawker

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Happy Birthday, Paul Rudd!

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Paul Rudd covers up his Rudds

Paul Rudd covers up his Rudds

Give the man what he asks for: a cure for cancer!

“I know it’s the thought that counts, but…the money counts too!”

Normally, as you know, I am so NOT all about the self-conscious hipsters (apologies: I repeat myself) particularly those of ironic eyewear, but in this case I must give it up to Mister Paul Rudd, who suggests that on your birthday, you ask your friends to donate your age in dollars to the Cancer Society. Now, this may well bankrupt my friends, but you, according to Quantcast, are younger, and you should be doing this. I mean, if they spend that money on PBR you’re just gonna have a beer belly and a hangover to show for it the next day, right? Whereas fighting cancer provides a glow which makes one irresistable to the opposite sex (as several cancer fakers of my acquaintance know and have taken advantage of, and don’t worry, I’ve taken care of them in ways they don’t even know yet).

Am I ranting? Oh, let me rant. I beat cancer: I’m entitled to rant a bit. If you’re feeling ranty right along with me, here are some infuriating, medically-themed gossip links for you to read and ensure that your blood pressure remains elevated. If you get angry enough, it even counts as aerobic!

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It’s FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYY!

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It's FRIDAY! Time to peel those scales off your eyes!

It's FRIDAY! Time to peel those scales off your eyes!

If you’ve wondered, along with the rest of the internet, about the root cause of Rebecca Black’s sudden, irresistable stardom, may I suggest a close viewing of the following will clear up all ambiguity.

All ambiguity.

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.
HP Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu