oh baby!

Newt Baby 

 

For some of us, this is not news. Whiny babies grow up to be Conservatives. Gawd knows, next year they’ll probably publish a study that shows that previously liberal people turn conservative when they experience middle-aged crises.

*coughChristophelesHitchenscough*

Goodness, who ever would have seen that coming?

 

 

How to spot a baby conservative

Whiny children, claims a new study, tend to grow up rigid and traditional.

Future liberals, on the other hand …

Remember the whiny, insecure kid in nursery school, the one who always thought everyone was out to get him, and was always running to the teacher with complaints? Chances are he grew up to be a conservative.

At least, he did if he was one of 95 kids from the Berkeley area that social scientists have been tracking for the last 20 years. The confident, resilient, self-reliant kids mostly grew up to be liberals.

The whiny kids tended to grow up conservative, and turned into rigid young adults who hewed closely to traditional gender roles and were uncomfortable with ambiguity.

The confident kids turned out liberal and were still hanging loose, turning into bright, non-conforming adults with wide interests. The girls were still outgoing, but the young men tended to turn a little introspective.

So they key trait, the very core of Conservatism, is Insecurity. Bien Sur.

It doesn’t actually go against the currently-popular “nurture” dogma, in that a baby’s Neocon Likkud Chaosmain source of confidence is its parents. If they are fear-ridden, xenophobic hags  demonizing all unknowns, it could just be that they will teach their children to be the same way. Have we not all encountered mothers who, upon seeing their toddler fall down, begin screaming before the baby does? I’ve seen babies give their parents angry/embarrassed looks that quite clearly say, “would you put a sock in it? It wasn’t that bad until you started shrieking over there, Uncle Daddy.”

Thank God for home schooling; at least it keeps these people off the streets.

So some are born to it, or perverted to it shortly after birth. Probably the first time they leave something “unusual” in their nappy and their parents immediately rush them to the hospital for an emergency proctology examination. “All righty then,” the kid says to herself, no dummy, “I’ll just keep that to myself in future.”

Which also explains why some of them are so full of shit.

The second great wave of conservatism comes when the mature-but-not-yet-exactly-overripe politonaut, confident as a solid upbringing and his own inner swaggitude can make him, experiences a weakening of his powers. Maybe he got fired and is older than the other jobhunters. Maybe he had a master plan for his life and has just realized his achievements are set on “age 25” and his hairline is on “age 45.” Maybe he’s had a hot date and actually had to show her his etchings. Perhaps it’s happened often enough that he’s given up and actually begun producing etchings, at least on his forehead.

What is the effect of these intimations of mortality?

Insecurity. Ding Ding, go to the head of the class.

And what is the lifestyle sea-change that such people experience? You can call it an TIAObjectivist Epiphany; you can call it bourgeois anxiety; you can call it a midlife crisis. And how does it express itself? By the switching of a favorite book from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance to The Fountainhead, the switching of a vote from NDP to Trudeau Liberal, from Trudea Liberal to Turner Liberal, Liberal to Tory, from Democrat to Republican, from Republican to Ross Peronite. Pick up your jumpsuits at the check-in desk, and don’t forget to wear the white Nikes. If the convention (such a perfect word) is being held in Idaho this year, remember to bring your own mackinaw, Sorels and fluorescent vest; the same goes if it’s in Texas, only it won’t do you any good, Cheney will still shoot you. You make him nervous.

If you wish a red corvette and cannot afford one, one will be placed on your credit card and provided for you.

Fug off

The Fuggers strike again! Take a gander at Courtney Love here…

Daffy Duck

Courtney Love's Beak of Death

 

 

 

 

 

 

Theriously, what you looking at?

How do you like my kicky little necktie? Ithn’t it totally Dreth for Thucceth as reinterpreted for the new millenium? No, Dreth for Thucceth. DRETH FOR THUCCETH! Thop acting like you don’t underthand me! I THREAR I WILL THROW THITH MICROPHONE THAND AT YOUR HEAD!

 

Today in Furry Alaskan Crab News

There are furry Alaskan crabs.

Two Furry Crabs

Alaskan Furry Crabs Sideshow Gaff Freak Taxidermy

Starting bid: US $75.00 

Greetings & Welcome To The Dark Realm Of

DETHCHEEZ‘s Freak Show

 Step Right Up
 &
 Witness 
 
A True Wonder Of Nature
 
For I Have For Your Viewing & Bidding Pleasure
 
 A Pair
 Of
 ~Alaskan Fur-Bearing Crabs~
 
 AKA
 The
 ~Don King Crab~
Light furry crab 
These Rare & Bizarre Creatures Live Deep In The Frigid Waters Off the Coast Of Alaska
The Fur Isn’t Used To Keep Them Warm In The Cold Water As Once Believed
It Was Discovered That Tiny Sea Creatures Make Their Home In The Fur
When A Fish Goes To Eat The Tiny Creatures Living In The Fur The Crab Eats It
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With The Story Of The Recently Discovered “Furry Lobster” Being All Over The Net
http://www.brandonsun.com/story.php?story_id=20575
These Guys Should Be A Big Hit
 
They’re The Fur-Bearing Trouts Of 2006Dark Furry Crab
 
This One Of A Kind Gaff Was Handcrafted 
By
 Ex-Freak Show Performer & Modern Gaff Artist
 DETHCHEEZ
  
Thanx
DC

“Because  Art  Isn’t  Always  Pretty“

Oh! Canada!

Mountie

There’s a reason they call them Mounties.

it’s a small, nasty world, after all

Forgive me; this is going to be a post with the bare minimum of reflection in it, at least until the comments section, because quite frankly I really don’t want to know what I think or how I feel about this. Right now I have to say I’d prefer neither to think about this, nor to have feelings about it, or even at all. 

It’s been five years since I felt sorry for Trevor Greene.

Trevor Greene CivilianTrevor Greene is a dynamic, innovative and well-traveled individual with over 15 years of experience in writing and reporting. He is a speaker of three languages, a published author, an entrepreneur, a trained and experienced liaison officer, and has eight years of highly regarded service in the Canadian Armed Forces.

Greene joined the Vancouver bureau of Bloomberg News as a general assignment reporter on business and finance in Canada and Asia. He also began researching and writing about the so-called poorest postal code in Canada; Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside.

He wrote his first nonfiction book in Canada, Bad Date: The Lost Girls of Vancouver’s Low Track, about the women who have gone missing from the Downtown Eastside over the past 15 years. Bad Date was published in November 2001. Some of his present entrepreneurial projects include an eco-tourism venture and a community volunteer consulting company.

Greene is an officer in the Seaforth Highlanders, a Vancouver-based primary reserve infantry unit, where his main duties are domestic emergency and disaster response, and community and civilian agency liaison. At time of writing he was also preparing for a six-month army deployment to Afghanistan in 2006 as part of Operation Archer.

Greene lives on a boat docked at Fisherman’s Wharf on Vancouver’s Granville Island. He speaks English, Japanese and French.

In 1993, while living in Japan, he’d written a critically-lauded book Bridge of Tears on the taboo subject of Japanese homelessness. Socially-conscious from the beginning, his latest project was a venture philanthropy initiative, encouraging fat cats to invest in Afghanistan’s rebuilding.

Bad DateIn 2001 his new book Bad Date:The Lost Girls of Vancouver’s Low Track, the first on the Missing Women case, had just come out to cautiously positive reviews. 

Over two years, Greene spent just about every day in the impoverished neighbourhood, eventually earning the trust of prostitutes, police and the families left behind. He paints a graphic picture of life in the ‘s most drug-addicted neighbourhood.

“What I was shocked at is the violence that is perpetrated on these women by normal, everyday johns every single day,” Greene said in an interview.

Nobody really wanted to be seen crowing about a book that laid out the fact that there was a serial killer on the loose in Vancouver. Unfortunately for Trevor Greene’s book (which I immediately bought because I was working on what I figured would be the SECOND book about the case), a few weeks after it came out Willy Pickton was arrested for those murders, essentially rendering Greene’s book, with its many theories and free-floating, faceless menace, obsolete.

I felt sorry for the lad.

A few months later, my friend Miss V asked me if I knew him; he’d applied for membership in her Social Empire. I said we’d never met, but that I knew his writing from the book as well as his social journalism pieces in the Georgia Straight, and he seemed like an earnest, educated, and interesting guy, not the fashionista A-List type (this was in the days before “metrosexual” was a term, but after it had become a lifestyle). No idea if she let him in or not, but smart money says yes.

Then, not one word from that time to this. Vancouver’s a small town. Six degrees of separation do not apply; six degrees do not exist. In this city, it’s two, at most three. Jounalists grow wary of chatting about stories, not for fear of being overheard and scooped, but because it’s quite likely that the barista, or the blonde at the next table, or someone else within earshot, is sleeping with/related to/BFF with the subject of the article.

Today, at the Shebeen Club, I found out the latest about Trevor Greene.

It happened in Shinkay. The man just can’t pick a good neighborhood.

Canadian Soldier Wounded in Afghan Ambush

The axe assault that badly injured a Canadian soldier was part of a deliberate ambush as troops met with village elders in southern Afghanistan, the military says.

Lieut. Trevor Greene, a journalist and former navy officer from Vancouver, suffered a serious head wound during the meeting near the small Canadian outpost at Gumbad, about 70 kilometres north of Kandahar.

Capt. Kevin Schamuhn, the commander who was leading the expedition, told CBC News that the Canadian troops had already visited several villages during the day to attend shuras, or meetings with village elders.

He said all of them had been peaceful events where they shared lunch or tea and introduced themselves.

The Canadians took off their helmets and put down their guns as they usually do to reassure villagers that they were friendly.

“There was no weird feelings. There was no gut feeling that something was about to go down. Everything was very calm and similar to the previous meetings.”

A minute later, a man who appeared to be less than 20 walked up behind Greene and pulled a half-metre-long axe out from underneath his clothes.

“He pulled an axe out from underneath his clothing and lifted right above his head, standing right behind Trevor,” said Schamuhn, who was sitting only about a metre away.

As he lifted up the axe, the man shouted “Allahu Akbar,” which means “God is great” in Arabic.

Then, said Schamuhn, “he swung the axe into Trevor’s head.”

“He was just really set on helping these people and doing it right. He’s just really well-spoken and mature. …He was just really looking forward to helping these people.”

He was shipped out to a military hospital in Germany immediately, via Black Hawk helicopter. After two months in critical care there, one week ago he was transferred to Vancouver General Hospital.

The emotional father of a Canadian soldier seriously wounded in an axe attack in Afghanistan welcomed his son home Tuesday, saying he’s improving every day.

Richard Greene said his son, Trevor, has been breathing on his own for the past four days and even managed to move his legs while in hospital in Germany.

“That apparently has some significance and we believe it (does.) We’re confident he’ll recover completely,” said Greene. “He’s just received great care.”

Greene had to pause to compose himself.

He said his son has received e-mails of support from around the world. Greene read them to his comatose son in Germany.

Greene described Trevor as “quite a lad.”

Richard Greene said Trevor volunteered to go to Afghanistan and hoped he could later get some experience at the United Nations.

“We’re very proud of him,” said Greene. 

His writing partner has put up a page on their website for the media. I’ll paste it here, with a couple of spam-reducing edits.

A Message to the Media and Concerned Canadians
 

From Shane Gibson co-author and friend of Trevor Greene

Thank-you for all of your prayers and concern for Trevor at this time.  I have passed on your well wishes to his family and those closest to him.  At this time I will not be commenting on interviews in regards to Trevor’s situation until he and his family give me the okay.His family is busy praying and hoping for the best and I will forward any requests to make statements or comments directly to them.  Just drop an e-mail to shane at closingbigger dot com. At this time I have been asked not to disclose their contact details.Trevor is very professional in everything he does.  This includes keeping in the strictest confidence the nature of his military responsibilities and past experiences while serving our country.  Your best source of information is from the Department of National Defense.Here’s what I can be quoted on:
 
“Trevor is a talented author, an amazing Dad and partner, the kind of person you can count on always. He is deeply committed to protecting and preserving the freedoms we enjoy as Canadians.”

Kindest Regards,

Shane Gibson

Trevor Greene